
I'm a straight guy, married to a straight woman for 15 years. Several years back, I opened up to my wife about my fantasies of her sleeping with other men. I was nervous about bringing it up. Her views on sex had always been traditional, and she had always expressed a very strict idea of monogamy and commitment. So, I was extremely relieved when her reaction was intrigue rather than disgust. She was curious about it and wondered if I really wanted it to happen or if it was just something I wanted to keep in our rotation of dirty talk. Fast-forward to this week, and my wife tells me she is interested in exploring this. (Note to other guys who want this from their wives: be respectful, don't pressure, and give her time to think about it. Your...
Hooking Up, Seeking Help
There are lots of dating apps for people and/or couples looking for casual sex and/or kinky sex (Feeld, 3Somer, #Open, et al), and lots of peopleâsingle and partneredâlooking for casual and/or kinky sex on regular dating apps (Tinder, OKCupid, Christian Mingle, et al). But hookup/threesome/swinger apps, while perceived as sleazier, are a safer bet for a couple like you and your wife.
While thereâs no way to eliminate your risk of being recognized on an app, HUSH, anyone who spots you on Feeld looking for extracurricular dick was on Feeld looking for and/or offering up a little extracurricular dick of their own. The threat of mutually assured destructionâif they gossip about you, youâll gossip about themâis usually enough to restrain bad actors, as is the threat of the obvious follow-up question. (âWait, why are you on Feeld?â) And most people on hookup apps arenât bad actors, HUSH, but fundamentally decent people like you and your wife, i.e., singles and couples looking for a little fun, not for an opportunity to hurt anyone. A friend or a relative or a coworker who spots your wife in a bar with a strange manâor in the lobby of a hotel or on her way into your apartmentâis likelier to cause you headaches than one of your fellow perverts online.
To minimize your risk of being spotted and outed on the apps, HUSH, donât post face pics and only share them after youâve establishedâto the best of your abilityâthe person youâre talking to isnât a bot, a pic collector, or an extortionist. Again, thereâs no way to fully eliminate the risk, but at a certain point you have to trust your gut and take a risk. You also have the option of creating a profile in a city you visit regularly but donât live in, HUSH. After youâve found and vetted a few good candidates, get yourself some airline tickets and a hotel room and have those drinks in a bar that a colleague, a fan, or your father-in-law is unlikely to walk into.
Thereâs a story making the rounds on Reddit about people getting those metallic âbejeweled butt plugsâ all the way into their asses and needing pretty intense intervention to get them out, ranging from partners pulling them out with their fingers (the unfun kind of double penetration) to actual surgery in a hospital (only fun for a very select few). The blame, apparently, is the fact that the base of these toys is rarely wider than the widest party of the head, which is pretty damning, and that lubed metal is slipperier than lubed silicone. So here are the operative questions: Are metallic bejeweled butt plugs safe or not so much? Are silicone bejeweled butt plugs any safer? Are there any safe bejeweled butt plug options out there? The world isnât going to stop being obsessed with sparkly butt toys any time soon, so weâre going to need to find a way to do it safely.
Insertion Toy Extraction Messy Situation
Iâve seen those jeweled butt plugs in shops and in photos onlineâtheyâre usually made from stainless steel and have glass âgemsâ mounted at the end of an alarmingly narrow baseâbut Iâve never actually seen one in person. Or in a person, at least not in person. But knowing what I do about butts (and how they relax after some play), and knowing what I do about plugs (a flared base is your first line of defense against a trip to the ER), I wouldâve worried too much about losing one to use one. As for safe bejeweled butt plug options, ITEMS, youâre going to want a flared base and a jewel thatâs at least the size of Cullinan I Diamond, the fist-sized rock on the Queen of Englandâs royal scepter, which come to think of itâŚ
As you've surely heard, the conservative Supreme Court majority plans to overturn Roe v. Wade. While my wife and I were lamenting the state of this fucking country, she mentioned that nobody ever hears men talking about the abortions that kept their lives on trackâeven though that's obviously a very common thing that happens. How many guys shat their pants after a condom failed during sex with a woman they weren't that into? How many prominent men knocked up their mistresses or assistants or babysitters? How many Republican boys have pressed a wad of their parents' money into a girlâs hand because having a baby would ruin his future? These men need to speak up. I'm not expecting actual Republicans to do so, but perhaps there are men out there who are willing to speak up and admit what we all know: Men benefit from abortion while bearing none of the shame associated with it. Itâs time we heard from them. Iâm sorry I don't have a catchy name for this or a cute sign-off. I'm so tired and the world is falling apart.
Men Should Speak Up About Abortion
Now for some real worries.
We are weeks away from American women being stripped of a fundamental constitutional and human right. And we face the prospect of an out-of-control and illegimate Supreme Court stripping us of a host of other rights: the right to contraception, the right to same-sex marriage, the right to interracial marriage, even the right to have sex for pleasureâyou know, the sex most people have most of the time. (In Lawrence v. Texas (2003), the Supreme Court struck down sodomy laws that criminalized not just consensual gay sex, but consensual sex between men and women that wasnât open to conception as well.)
While it should be enough to hear from women whoâve benefited from safe and legal abortionâand it should be enough to know that women die from unsafe and illegal abortions, and enough to know that banning abortions doesnât stop women from getting abortionsâI happen to agree that cis men who support abortion rights and have benefited from them need to speak the fuck up about reproductive freedom.
âThere are millions of men whose lives would have been worse without abortion,â the writer Jill Filipovic wrote on Twitter last week. âMen who wouldnât have found their big loves, wouldnât have their kids, wouldnât have been as successful, wouldnât have taken big risksâ if they had become fathers before they were ready. To those men, to all men, Filipovic says, âThis if your fight, too. Get in it.â
And gay men? The exact same arguments being used right now to strip women of the right to decide when and whether they want to bear a childâabortion isnât within the âhistory and traditionsâ of the United States, abortion isnât a right enumerated in the Constitution, abortion is a moral questionâcan and will be used to strip us of the right to have sex and the right to marry. Republican assholes are passing laws in red states right fucking now that force women to give birth to their rapistsâ babies against their will. Donât for a second think these same assholes wonât pass laws forcibly ending your gay marriage or throwing your gay ass in jail for getting your gay ass fucked. This is our fight, too, faggots.
Is there a website where we can legally find out how to buy the abortion pills youâve mentioned on the podcast?
Make It Stop
Everything you need to know about abortion pillsâhow they work and where to get themâcan be found at www.plancpills.org. And anyone using those pills at home needs to read Dr. Jen Gunterâs essay âYour Medical Team Cannot Tell If You Had a Self-Administered Abortionâ at vajenda.substack.com. And everyone should read Jill Filipovicâs advice on what we can do right now to fight back (âGet To Work, Get Informed, Get Braveâ) at jill.substack.com. And if you can afford to donate to the National Network of Abortion Funds, now would be a great time to do so. Theyâre at www.abortionfunds.org. And finally: donât vote Republican, donât fuck Republicans.
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