I’m a bi girl in a serious relationship with a bi guy, and said bi guy has a major thing for being cucked. We’ve had a few threesomes before, but only with bisexuals and the focus was on all three of us equally. Recently, though, we had a 2-on-1 threesome with a straight guy, and it was GOOD for me. Really good. Nothing would make me happier than to go on a spree (with protection, of course) of fucking around with guys, my boyfriend fucking around with guys, the two of us fucking around with other guys together, etc. Have you seen men lately? Good stuff. I want to go full speed ahead, but my boyfriend is conflicted. On one hand: immeasurable arousal, fulfillment of his cuckold fantasies, etc. On the other… intense jealousy and anxiety! And on my end? An irrepressible hunger that wasn’t there before. I love my boyfriend so much and our sex life is amazing, but my appetite can’t be satiated by just one guy anymore! Please help!

Down To Cuck

“First, this is an amazing problem to have,” said Hopeful Cuck, one of four co-hosts of Cuck My Life, the podcast for cucks by cucks. “They’re on a journey, an adventure, and they’re in store for some pretty amazing sex. So, however they go about this, I’m sure they’re going to have a lot of fun.”

I never like to contradict a guest expert — especially one as qualified as Hopeful Cuck — but it sounds to me like you’re already having fun; you don’t say how long you’ve been together, but you’ve had more threesomes in the time you’ve been together than most people have in a lifetime. Whatever else you’re into, it’s pretty clear you’re not into delayed gratification. But you’re moving into trickier emotional territory, DTC, and if you don’t want to screw this up for yourself — and a cuck boyfriend sounds like your ideal partner, DTC, so you really don’t wanna screw this up — you’re gonna need to move at your boyfriend’s speed.

“Her partner is nervous,” said Hopeful. “He is experiencing ‘cuck angst,’ that special sauce that each cuck experiences differently. There is no one piece of advice that will fix this, it has to be a multi-pronged approach. First, they need to talk to one another. What expectations, ideas, fantasies do each of them have around this kink? Does he want to be humiliated? Does she feel comfortable humiliating him? How do their desires align? How do they differ?”

Basically, DTC, you need to insist that your boyfriend to explain to you — in exhausting detail — exactly what cuckolding means to him, exactly what excites him about being cuckolded, and exactly what kind of cuckold he wants to be. And that’s not a conversation you can have in an Uber on your way to the apartment of a hot straight guy who’s down to fuck you in front of your cuck boyfriend.

“Things feel close to boiling over right now,” said Aussie Cuck, another one of the hosts of Cuck My Life, “and I’d suggest cooling things down a little. They should explore the fantasy together without a third. Use toys while he watches but can’t touch. She should talk him through what her ‘imaginary bull’ is doing. Try light humiliation or even chastity play. These shallow-end steps let them test how the power dynamic fits their relationship. Once they’ve built trust and clarity, they’ll be in a stronger place to invite someone else in.”

I never like to contradict a guest expert — especially one as qualified as Aussie Cuck — but you’ve already had someone else in. (Some hot straight guy was quite literally in you, right?) But when your boyfriend brought up cuckolding, he wasn’t just talking about you fucking other guys or the two of you fucking other guys together. Threesomes are one thing — an emotionally tricky thing for many couples — but if your boyfriend is truly a cuck, he wants you to make him feel anxious and insecure… without making him feel too anxious or too insecure. Figuring out the right balance between jealousy and arousal is going to take some serious thought, DTC, not just some other guys.

“Being a cuckoldress or a hotwife isn’t a hall pass to sleep with anyone, anytime,” said Aussie Cuck. “It’s a responsibility, especially while he’s still figuring out his boundaries and the kind of cuck dynamic he wants. If he truly has a cuck fantasy, why does her being with another man spark jealousy when they’ve already shared that space? Does it feel different if the third is male rather than female? Or is he scared of being left behind while she dives in deeper?”

Final question for you, DTC: If your boyfriend is a cuck, it means something very specific to him when you sleep with another man, particularly a man you can’t share, i.e. a straight guy who’s only interested in you. So, what does it mean to you when he sleeps with another man? Some people will insist that you’re doing it wrong — that your boyfriend isn’t really a cuckold — if he gets to fuck other people, too. Hopeful, Aussie, and I agree that you should ignore those people.

“There is no ‘right way’ to do this, and no wrong way, either,” said Hopeful. “You just need to figure out how you can do it in a way that will meet the majority of both of your needs.”

Still, if you don’t feel jealous and turned on when he fucks other men — if all you feel is turned on — then he’s obviously not cuckolding you when he fucks around. Your relationship could wind up being a rare melding of a cuck kink with a hotwifing/husbanding/partnering kink: he’s your sub when you cuck him (fucking other guys is about your pleasure) and he’s still your sub when he gets fucked by another guy (because him fucking other guys pleases you). I’m speculating here — only you know what it means to you when he fucks other guys — but your feelings, needs, and meanings also need to be a part of the conversation.

Last word goes to our guest experts:

“This is a high wire act,” said Hopeful. “You both need to understand that mistakes happen. Rules and boundaries get broken. The heat of the moment can be intense. Be ready to forgive missteps. Talk about these things and adjust your relationship accordingly.”

“Learn to swim together before diving deep — that way, the chances of shared pleasure and success are much greater,” said Aussie Cuck.

 I’ve finally met the one, or so I thought. I’m 40 and have dated a lot. A few months ago, I started dating a kind, generous, funny, emotionally intelligent man and I have a deep intuitive sense that he’s my person, and I’m his. We haven’t had a lot of sex (we’re both very busy). The first time we had sex, he went down on me, he told me he loves going down (that it’s his favorite thing to do), but he hasn’t again since. I asked him about it, and in the most gentle and hesitant way he told me that he finds my pussy overwhelmingly “aromatic” and that’s why he’s kept his face away from it. I’ve never heard this before and have had other partners who spent lots of time down there with no problems; and I also always wash my leggings after one wear because they’re good and ripe and need it, as I’m generally a pretty juicy woman. My initial reaction was to consider what I might do differently (classic anxious attachment go-to), shower before sex; change my pubic hair maintenance; find and take a magical pussy-smell enhancing pill; change my diet; see the ob-gyn about possible bacterial factors — you tell me, I’m willing. I really like this guy and want him to want to eat me all night long. I’m super bummed that my natural odor turns him off. Maybe it’s not going to work between us after all? I don’t want to be with someone who isn’t super into my lady parts.

Scents And Sensitivities

Read the answer and the rest of this week's column here! And this week on the Lovecast: Shibari for you and me! A woman and her boyfriend, (in an open relationship) tried shibari and enjoyed the intimacy of it. She suggested they exclusively practice shibari with each other, unlike all the other sexual activities they do with their other lovers. At first he agreed, but now he’s balking. Should she try to make this a rule of their relationship, or cut him free to tie up other women?

Can semen be safely employed as a sexual lubricant?

Our guest this week is a true delight. From Season 12 of Ru Paul’s Drag Race, it’s the Persian Princess of Drag—Jackie Cox! She and Dan talk about getting in the drag head space, being friends with your partner, and did you know that the queens from Drag Race have a group chat? They do! LISTEN HERE.