Ever tried swinging so high on a swingset that you accomplished a 360 degree rotation? No? Because it’s “impossible”? LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE FEAT THAT HAS PLAGUED SCIENTISTS FOR CENTURIES HAS FINALLY BEEN ACCOMPLISHED. (And naturally, with very painful results.)

Next time? Maybe don’t scream like Barney from The Simpsons.

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

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