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If the horrible, unceasing events of 2017 have left you feeling like a burnt crouton, there’s still hope for some holiday cheer—that’s also hilarious, informative, AND sexy! And it’s going down TONIGHT!

Listen up, because here’s your opportunity to see one of America’s top rated podcasts and top rated sex advice smarty-pants on the same stage! It’s Dan Savage’s Happy Hole-adays, a live taping of the Savage Lovecast with tons of holiday-inspired comedy (with segments such as “Santa’s Paindeer,” “Toys for Tits,” “A Gay in the Manger,” and “The Little Hummer Boy”) as well as terrific guests such as Portland’s funniest person (and host of the monthly I, Anonymous Show) Caitlin Weierhauser, and New Orleans’ mischievous singer/songwriter Carsie Blanton. Make sure your “hole-aday” is stuffed with fun this year with the hilarious, saucy fun of Dan Savage’s Happy Hole-adays! (It’s gonna be a sell-out so get your tix quick and here!)

TONIGHT! Thurs Dec 21, 8 pm, Revolution Hall, 1300 SE Stark, $35, 21+

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)