I’ve been saying it for years: don’t take sex advice from the staff writers unpaid interns at Cosmo. Now Ben Reininga has rounded up some of Cosmo’s worst sex tips in a hilarious piece for Nerve. Slathering “your man” with sweet and syrupy crap is a reoccurring theme:
“Dip your breasts in edible body paint, and use them to ‘sponge paint’ his entire body. Then lick it off.”
“Cook dinner topless, apply a little tomato sauce to your nipple,” and ask your man to lick it off.”
“Take a few of your favorite erotically appealing flavor combinations, like peanut butter and honey or whipped cream and chocolate sauce, and mix up yummy treats all over his body.”
“Feed each other ice cream [in the dark]. Not being able to see means more spilling, which means more licking up the mess.”
The unpaid interns at Cosmo have never heard of a sex act—and it’s clear that sex is something they’ve only ever heard about—that couldn’t be improved by rolling the dessert cart up to the bed. A reader reminds me that Cosmo once urged their readers to slide a glazed donut onto “your big man’s little man.” Because, hey, your man would much rather watch you eat another donut than eat his dick.
Nothin’ says lovin’ like lukewarm tomato sauce.
Nothin’ says lovin’ like “10 Ways To Please Your Man, written by Some Lady”
AKA “Things giggly teenage girls think are things people actually do.”
sounds like an eating disorder. those writers need to stop thinking about food while on the clock
They should get Belladonna to write some.
What about pastrami on rye with mustard during intercourse? Add in some TV for the trifecta.
This magazine not provides all sexual related tips and ideas. Which is new for teenager ?
I would like to share some basic sex tips like pubic hair.
Get free sex expert advice on women’s pubic hair controversy
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