Hey, don’t feel sorry for lonely Christians! Because now they can find the perfect romantic match (who also offers glory to God in the highest) with this new social media app, ChristianTingle. It’s like Tinder… for people who are the absolute opposite of people who use Tinder!

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)