In this clip from The 700 Club, incredibly old Pat Robertson fields a question from a Christian lady who claims her hubby of 11 years had gay sex with a fellow male church member. THAT’S HOT! However, hubby is trying to write it off as something that “accidentally” happened because he was “drunk.” Mmmmmm-hmmmmmm. (When are Christians going to learn that the “devil’s likker” excuse doesn’t cut it anymore?) Anyway, it’s always hilarious to watch Robertson stumble around a thorny problem, and this time? Shockingly, his answer isn’t completely wrong! (Just mostly wrong.) WATCH!

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)