GUYS! When you watch this NBC report about a priest who dials 911 because he’s trapped in a pair of handcuffs while wearing a leather mask and a gag in his mouth, please do not jump to conclusions!

Look. There are all sorts of very logical reasons why this respected religious figure could’ve been caught in such a curious situation… like… like… okay, your turn.

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

2 replies on “Today in Very Logical Explanations, I’m Sure”

  2. Too bad he was alone, if he’d had an altarboy there he could have let him out of the cuffs and the Church would have helped keep it quiet…

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