Here’s another of the great YouTube Comment recreations, in which two aged Shakespearean actors exactly recreate a battle between commenters on YouTube. Today: What begins as a battle between the definitions of “soccer” and “football” turns into a scathing debate on the vagaries of intellectualism! WHO WILL WIN? (Spoiler alert: You.)

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

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