As the Number of Homeless Students Increase to 15,000, the School’s 3.5 Counselors Get Creative
Portland
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Beneath the Mask
Andrew Tonry Spends the Worst Night of His Life as the LumberJax Mascot
I stripped off the ridiculous costume and headed for the shower. I had to get it off. All of it—the sweat, the stink, and that feeling like I’d just done something reprehensible. I needed refuge. Whatever part of me that got me here, the one that said, “Yeah, that’s a good idea—it’ll be fun, you […]
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The Ballad of Timber Jim
An Interview with Portland’s Most Beloved Mascot
THE USA is not interested in soccer. Sorry, Adidas, but it’s true. We’ll watch a reality show about David and Victoria Beckham, but a televised 90-minute soccer match? Forget it. However, to enter PGE Park when the Portland Timbers are playing is to enter a different world—where you can check out the type of debauchery […]
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Portland Wants Squatch!
Why We Should Trade Our Mascot for Seattle’s
THERE ARE 30 teams in the National Basketball Association—yet the Portland Trail Blazers have something that no one else does. It’s not Greg Oden, Brandon Roy, or a promising future of playoff victories—it’s that goddamn trail cat. The team’s mascot is a useless, fictional large-headed creature of unknown origin that goes by the name Blaze […]
Posted inEmployee of the Week
Eight Things You Can Learn from Cindy The Erotic Pleaser
Words of Wisdom from the Most Famous Face in the Mercury‘s Back Pages
Often, we Mercury writers are accused of acting like celebrities. And while we may be known to occasionally flash our vaginas while exiting cars in miniskirts, if there’s one thing that will check our egos at the office, it’s the total eclipse of our minor notorieties by that of Cindy “The Erotic Pleaser.” For many […]
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Sex Survey Results 2008!
Portland’s Sexiest Average People Speak Out on the Topic of Sex!
Welcome once again to the Mercury‘s annual Sex Survey Results Issue—where we probe the minds and pantaloons of Portland to find out who does what, where, when, and how in the sack! A month ago we asked our citizens to fill out our breathtakingly complete sex survey at portlandmercury.com. We then gathered up the results, […]
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Portland’s Sexiest Staffs!
Every year, the Mercury Sex Survey asks, “Of all the attractively independent, locally owned businesses in town, which is staffed up with the sexiest employees?” And every year, you, the Mercury Sex Surveyed, tell us that it’s the folks who give you free samples at the grocery store, help you stay on top of the […]