As Paul shared with us the other day, Google is developing a wearable replacement for your smart phone:

They’re smart glasses that do internet searches, calendar reminders, texting, video chat, navigation and more.

However, are you sure you want these things? Remix artist Jonathan McIntosh reveals a dystopian Google Goggle future with his remake of the company’s promotional video. (Hope you’re wearing shoes, because your dreams are about to shatter.)

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)