Best Misuses of Modern Technology Awards

Society progresses. Humanity evolves. The industrial revolution continues to bear the technological fruits of our most brilliant minds. But even the smartest monkey still flings a turd, once in a while. Here’s a toast to those who have gone above and beyond, recently, in finding irresponsible and hilarious ways to exploit the brilliance of our inventors.

First, I’d like to recognize Finland, for producing this guy.

It’s a hard act to follow, but I believe that South Korea puts up some stiff competition with their use of massive outdoor audio systems to blast deafening pop music and propaganda into Kim Jong Il’s old lady face. It’s not the first time they’ve done it, but the joke never gets old. In retaliation, the dictator has threatened to attack the speaker towers and possibly turn Seoul into a “sea of flame.” My neighbors usually just call the cops on us, but I think that’s just because they don’t have any nuclear bombs.

Young American parents get an honorable mention for signing up 7 percent of babies for email accounts. A new poll finds that people now have a digital footprint before they’re even born, as more and more babies are popping up on social networking sites the second they’re womb-free enough to be photographed and tagged.

The last award of the afternoon goes to the Snuggie Sutra blog project, which just released a distasteful coffee table book about having sex in a blanket with sleeves.

If you’d like to nominate somebody for an award, please submit links for corresponding horrible videos and articles to the comment box, and I’ll judge them based on personal favoritism and bribes.