Hello angels, and welcome to the Trash Report! Summer is heating up, which means that the news is sweatier than a branded mesh t-shirt at a corporate-sponsored Pride parade, and I, for one, am ready to take a big whiff. I’m thrilled to be contributing to our Queer Guide for our gayest month of the year June and Portland’s weird gay extension into July. (To be completely honest, August has more of a gay aura than either, but June is Pride month cuz of Stonewall. But if someone can go back in time, obviously the first thing is to kill Hitler, but then maybe pop by lower Manhattan gay bars and drop hints about how much fun a late-summer riot would be).

Anyway, let’s get to the gossip!

World Pride

An extra-big, extra-gay dayslong event held somewhere in the world every two years, World Pride 2025 was held in Washington, DC this year. Organizers picked the location before Trump was re-elected, and some said it should have been switched, so as to not normalize life under his anti-everything regime. Personally? I love that it was there! Over a million people were expected to visit the nation’s capital for the party, with dozens of celebrations of all things gay peppered throughout the city over three weeks, and the thought of Dan Bongino and Marjorie Taylor Greene stewing in a rainbow-drenched traffic jam makes me smile. Every time an anti-gay legislator misses a meeting, a daddy gets their wings.

Shakira unfortunately disappointed fans by cancelling her show at the event, after her tour equipment got stuck in Boston. Derailing a Shakira production is homophobic, and Boston should apologize to the would-be concert-goers who won’t have a reason to show off their belly-dancing now. Hips don’t lie? More like hips WILL lie…down. Because there’s nothing else to do that night.

American Pride

Another huge gathering of gays happened on the East Coast, but a little further south: a new theme park Universal Epic Universe just opened in Orlando, much to the delight of all the gay men whose podcasts I listen to (and presumably others as well). And look, I know many people are reluctant to spend any money in Florida, what with the Ron DeSantis of it all. And extra problematic is that a large section of the new park is about Harry Potter, which means TERF demon queen J.K. Rowling is getting richer—that’s bad. What’s fun, though, is that the park is a trans-inclusive space regardless of her weird obsession with what’s going on under everyone’s skirts (yes, there are gender neutral bathrooms). And hey, Jo, if trans people don’t exist, then who are all those floppy-haired cuties in hot pink sunglasses in the front row of every roller coaster picture, hmmmmmm?

Speaking of roller coasters: In reading about the recent hiatuses of local drag icons Sue from Corporate and Peachy Springs, I learned that Peachy had previously wanted to study roller coaster design, and Sue is currently studying roller coaster design. Now I’m curious how many theme park engineers moonlight as drag queens, and I’m trying to find the overlap of the respective allures. Like, experiences that are loud? Trying to make people’s eyes pop out of their heads? Orlando???

(And for the record, Sue from Corporate and Peachy Springs are both incredible drag names. I like to daydream names I would choose for myself. What is the rule? Your cat’s nickname + your favorite sweet treat? I wind up with, like Spronky Sour Patch Kid. Like, what?? A Spronky could never dazzle!)

Dolls Protection

The new progressive status symbol of the year is the shirt that reads “Protect the Dolls”—the dolls being trans women. We first saw this statement drape during Connor Ives’ April fashion show, but it skyrocketed into pop culture ubiquity after beloved trans ally Pedro Pascal wore one on a red carpet. Now everyone who’s anyone has one or wants one (including me; writing for this paper is a joy, but I get jackshit by way of hard-to-get swag). Stars like Madonna, Charli XCX, Tilda Swinton, and Troye Silvan have been showing off theirs. While the original shirt costs $99 and all proceeds go to benefit Trans Lifeline, there are knock-offs all over the internet for like $12 with proceeds probably going to some meme t-shirt farm in bumfuck-who-knows-where that is probably also responsible for those shirts that say things like “cool story babe, now go make me a sandwich.”

Local Gossip

Want to go meta? The local gossip is about GOSSIP, in that apparently there are two bands in town named Gossip. Obviously, both bands are my children, and I love them equally, but like, even if you’re a hardcore band, you’ve probably still heard of Beth Ditto. Her voice is so powerful you might be able to literally open the window and hear her (I wish). See, this is the problem with Google’s continuing slide into uselessness; it’s virtually impossible to figure out if a thing is a thing. I mean, if a person wants to look up how to report trash in Portland, the first hit is actually this column, not a legitimately useful public service. (Sorry!)

Semi-related, I fell down a Wikipedia rabbit hole recently, while doing the extremely normal thing of researching John Mayer’s relationship history (heterosexuality is a curse), which reminded me that he and Katy Perry dated, which reminded me that Katy Perry is the stage name of one Katheryn Hudson. Can you imagine how different things would be if she hadn’t changed her name?! The whole vibe would have been different. She never could have had a cat named Kitty Purry, which is so beautifully queer-coded that we can almost forgive her for the song “I Kissed a Girl” and the spaceship ride to nowhere.

Keep Portland Queered

A fun fact about me is that I have a small tattoo of several dots on my wrist because one time, when I was getting tattooed on my right arm, I was telling a dumb story and gesticulating wildly with my other arm, and then the tattooer paused and pulled her gun back—and I flung my hand straight into it. Please imagine that was the flair and passion with which I was reading all of this news to you today, and I can only hope it has left a mark. May your June/July be as beautiful as you are, but not as hot, because that would be too hot.

Love,