We made it to another weekend, a distinction that seems more and more ephemeral as we head into the second month of self-quarantine practices—but it is the weekend, and with that comes more than a few great opportunities to keepyourself sane and entertained, including gala concerts, celebrations of cinema classics, books to read, shows and podcasts to binge… even while stuck to your couch there’s still a ton of great Things to Do, just hit the links below and plan your weekend playlists accordingly
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Friday, April 17
Corona Relief Done Quick
Gaming as spectator sport has always been part of the phenomena—everyone has a fond memory of watching from the couch as a sibling or parent fumbled through a game, but Twitch.tv was the first platform to make that experience a big fat moneymaking thing. As with anything popular online, some of its biggest stars are some of its worst people, but Twitch’s unassailable saving grace is Games Done Quick, a twice-yearly telethon built around watching people absolutely demolish your favorite games as fast as possible while raising money for charities. The series started as a broadcast from a single couch, and is now barely contained by the convention centers they occupy, routinely raising multi-millions with every new installment. This weekend’s edition is going back to those couch-bound roots: While these mad gaming geniuses won’t be filling ballrooms anytime soon, they’ll still be marathoning games and raising money, this time to help first responders and fight COVID-19. Click here to check out the schedule, and then kick down a few bucks if you can.
(Fri-Sun, April 17-19, Twitch.tv, free, all ages)
SPLIFF Film Festival
If you’ve never experienced the mind-altering fun of SPLIFF (from the crazy, creative minds behind HUMP! and SLAY) you are in for such a treat. This year you can expect 22 brand new wildly entertaining weed-inspired shorts (all 4:20 or less… of course) featuring funny psychedelic trip-outs, stoned flying cats, side-splitting animation, aggressive dolphins, sexy shenanigans, wandering potatoes, and… dancing Burger Kings? SURE, WHY NOT? Trust us, you’ve never experienced anything like SPLIFF before. Even better? Each of these limited, special online screenings of SPLIFF 2020 will be hosted LIVE by the fantastical, divine talents of Seattle drag queen duo BETTY WETTER and COOKIE COUTURE! Tell your friends which screening you’ll be watching so all of you can get baked and share the glory of SPLIFF 2020 from the comfort of your individual couches!
(April 17-20, Fri-Sat & Mon, 7 pm, Sun 5 pm, $15-25)
That Thing You Do Watch Party with The O-needers The Wonders
Tom Hanks is a national treasure for so many reasons, and one of the shiningest jewels in his filmography is That Thing You Do, his directorial debut and one of the sweetest movies about rock ‘n’ roll ever made. It’s also kind of a minor miracle that, unlike many of the real one-hit-wonders this movie was inspired by, it’s literally impossible to get sick of the song at its center. This Friday, the band is getting back together (Tom Everett Scott, Ethan Embry, Steve Zahn, and Johnathan Schaech) to watch the movie, and they want you to watch along with them, and help raise some funds for the MusiCares COVID-19 Relief Fund.
(Fri, April 17, 4 pm, YouTube)
The Best of Cat Video Fest
Feline enthusiast and Henri the Cat creator Will Braden, bless his heart, has plucked 40 minutes of quality content from the CatVideoFest—an annual celebration of the divine conjunction of cats and internet—for your viewing pleasure. Sure, you could probably just thumb through Instagram and hopefully find even a fraction of the feline entertainment Mr. Braden’s packed tightly into his 40-minute “treat reel,” but why put your poor thumb through such stress when it can just click the “$1” button here instead, and be guaranteed the best of the best.
(Fri-Sun, April 17-19, CatVideoFest.com, $1, all ages)
Sling TV for Free!
In a promotion strangely being titled “Happy Hour Across America” (there’s a lot of things going on across America but “Happy” is not the prevailing emotion I’d lead with) Sling TV is making a case for their cord-cutting platform by… giving it away to prospective new subscribers from 5pm-midnight, every night, presumably for as long as your state governor or city mayor (and not our idiot slumlord president) says your shutdown will last. The “Blue” tier of their service will unlock once you sign up (and you don’t have to put any payment info in, either) and then you’re free to watch any of the 50+ live channels they have available from 5pm-midnight, including TBS, USA, FX, AMC, BET, Comedy Central, TNT, Bravo, Cartoon Network, Lifetime (!) SYFY, and more.
(Now available, SlingTV apps on Roku, AppleTV, iOS, Android, FireTV, Chromecast, free)
The Wire and Way Down in the Hole
Sling isn’t the only media company getting in on the free sampler action. Last week HBO opened the doors to 500 hours of content,and one of the most recommended shows of all time is now freely available: The Wire, a show so good it’s almost never actually compared to other TV shows, but to the literary works of masters like Dostoevsky and Dickens. And that exact phenomena is partially why The Wire can feel a little daunting for newcomers. That’s where Way Down in the Hole comes in, a brand-new companion podcast from The Ringer starring Jemele Hill and Van Lathan, aiming to recap the show episode-by-episode. You may not have been there for everyone else’s first (or 15th) trip to David Simon’s Baltimore crime epic, but if you haven’t started the show before, this is probably the best time to give it a try.
(The Wire now available, HBO, free; Way Down in the Hole now available, updates Tues & Thurs, Spotify, Apple Music, free)
Peacock
The last in this unofficial “free stuff to watch” trilogy is Comcast/Universal’s new-to-the-game platform, Peacock! The most unique thing about Peacock at launch is its name, really: Of all the media’s attempts to duplicate Netflix’s paradigm-shifting success plan, Peacock’s (!) is the only one so urethrally named, sharing its moniker with a particularly phallic bird. Past that, you’ve probably seen everything on Peacock somewhere else before. This early release comes with some catches: You have to be an Xfinity x1 or Flex subscriber right now (that’s still a lot of you considering what a near-monopoly Comcast has here), and you won’t be able to connect through anything that isn’t a Comcast box yet. But by April 30th, all Comcast users should have free access to Peacock’s basic tier, and that access will include shows like Law & Order, Parks and Recreation, and Universal library classics like E.T. the Extra Terrestrial and Jurassic Park.
(Now available if you have Xfinity X1 or Xfinity Flex, free w/ Comcast/Xfinity service)
Wake the Town: Livestream Edition
Wake the Town is bringing plenty of bass for your face as you practice safe social distancing, thanks to Holocene dedicating themselves to making sure the show goes on via their YouTube and Twitch channels, and to the fleet fingers and fine selecting minds of Danny Corn, Barisone, and PRSN. Looking to have a local dance party in your living room? Here you go.
(Fri, April 17, 8 pm, YouTube, Twitch.tv)
Live from the Starlight Coffeehouse: Neil Diamond Storytellers
There are other tributes to Neil Diamond out there, but nobody does them with the showmanship and flair that Tony Starlight’s been doing it for over 20 years. Tony’s been broadcasting live from his home for a few weeks, but has held back from breaking the seal on Neil but today? The floodgates are open. Hear Tony’s faves, and the stories behind them. He promises that some of them might even be true!.
(Fri April 17, 7 pm, YouTube, free)
Save the Old Church!
Never Come Down, one of the Pacific Northwest’s most prolific bluegrass, country, and folk outfits, headlines this benefit concert to raise funds for one of Portland’s most well-loved venues, presented by The Old Church (the aforementioned venue in question), Ear Trumpet Labs, and MusicPortland.
(Fri April 17, 7 pm, Facebook)
Shabazz Palaces
Ishmael Butler and Tendai Maraire of Seattle hip-hop duo Shabazz Palaces are masters of abstract texture and otherworldly sonic drift. trips through a world that has mistaken the map for the territory. When this strange dream of a universe clarifies and coheres, Butler can flip the modern nightmare into something sublime. The new album, The Don of Diamond Dreams, dropped today. Go have an adventure. CHRIS STAMM
Saturday, April 18
One World: Together at Home
Lady Gaga helped curate this mass-gathering of all-star entertainers, and will headline it herself, which means its likely to be the biggest, boldest, and most interesting of all the fundraisers created to both celebrate and support frontline health care workers. It’s already raised over $35 million for relief efforts around the world, and performers putting in work for the cause will include Lizzo, Billie Eilish, Idris and Sabrina Elba, Kerry Washington, Paul McCartney, Eddie Vedder, Alanis Morrissette, and many more, all hoping to convince you to pitch in a little bit more if you can. Hosted by Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel, and that one guy who giggled through every Saturday Night Live sketch he was ever on.
(Sat April 18, 5 pm, ABC, NBC, CBS, iHeart Media, free, all ages)
The Mystery Box Show
The coronavirus has us all cooped up indoors, but a really good true-sex tale can set you free, and that’s why The Mystery Box Show is taking their long-running, successful, sex-positive, local storytelling show to YouTube for the night, with performances from Esther Godoy, Kate Mura, Dolly Dagger, and Reba Sparrow. The stream isn’t behind any paywalls either, but if you’re feeling generous, there are donation and Patreon links to click while you watch. A huge part of livestreaming’s appeal is just how intimate any given show can be, and you’d better believe things are going to get intimate inside the Mystery Box tonight.
(Sat April 18, 6:30 pm, YouTube, free)
Uncharted: The Nathan Drake Collection and Journey
People have been relying on their video game consoles to keep them entertained since the shutdown started, and Sony is leaning into that with their latest overture to Playstation owners: FREE GAMES! Now, because self-identified “gamers” are great at taking awesome things and making them vaguely shitty, let’s get this out of the way: All four games being given away—the three Uncharted games in the Nathan Drake Collection and Journey—are old. So old they initially came out on the PS3. And if you’ve ever subscribed to PS Plus, they’ve both already been given away as part of that subscription service. BUT: These are versions specifically remastered for PS4 so they look, sound, and play better; and these free versions aren’t free on the condition you maintain a paid online subscription. They’re just free. Most importantly, they’re four of the best games Sony has ever published. It’s the gaming equivalent of Disney just up and deciding to give away the first three Indiana Jones movies and then throwing in Fantasia on top of that.
(Now Available, PlayStation Store, free)
Robin Hood
Hey, speaking of Disney, they made news last week for announcing yet another remake of a classic animated film. Thanks to the confusing-and-misleading way they made and marketed The Lion King (it was never “live action” but they sure as hell milked that artificial distinction for all it was worth) people responded to the news that 1973’s Robin Hood would soon have a similar remake, with a combination of bemusement and discomfort. Which is… not unlike watching the original animated movie, honestly! The wholesome, family-friendly adaptation of the classic myth that also became ground zero for at least three of your current biggest fetishes, Robin Hood is bizarre-but-charming in a specfically ’70s way. It’s laid-back and rumpled up, like Lt. Columbo animated it himself, and tells a very British story, but with a lot of southern-fried voice acting and the impressively catchy music of country-folk singer Roger Miller. None of these elements should work together at all, and yet, the second that lute-playing rooster starts whistling? Pure happiness.
(Now Available, Disney+, $6.99 per month, free trial here)
Into the Spider-Verse
Social media got itself in a weird tizzy arguing over superhero movies again last week, spending close to 48 straight hours “debating” which of the 33 or so Spider-Man movies is actually “the best one.” Why it took any longer than the second someone tweeted Into the Spider-Verse as an answer, who knows—but that’s the correct answer, and it’s not even close. Into the Spider-Verse, a heartfelt family film literally bursting with pure imagination and exemplary craft, isn’t just the best Spider-Man film ever made (sorry, Spider-Man 2, you had a great run) but is arguably the example by which every other superhero adaptation should be measured. Watch it if you haven’t before, then rewatch it and know the truth.
(Now Available, Netflix, $8.99 per month, free trial here)
Batcave Dance Party w/ DJ Anjali & the Incredible Kid
Known for fusing heart-quaking electronic with bhangra—a genre with roots in the traditional folk music of the northern Indian state of Punjab—and the soundtracks of Bollywood films, DJ Anjali and the Incredible Kid’s dance floor sites are sweaty, glorious chaos, and now those sites include your house, thanks to their livestreams on Twitch.
(Sat April 18, 8 pm, Twitch.tv, free)
In the Lateness of the World
Carolyn Forché is one of the first and best practitioners of “the poetry of witness,” a school of poets who use the form to record memories of war, famine, injustice, and every other rotten product of raw nature or human ambition. For the last 17 years, readers have had to content themselves with Forché’s nonfiction, her translations, her anthologies, and her scholarship on the El Salvadoran peasant movement. But now she’s finally out with In the Lateness of the World, a new collection of post-apocalyptic poems shot through with rays of hope. Sort of like Pound’s Cantos filmed by Steven Spielberg with a little Jorie Graham thrown in there.
(Now Available, ebook, MultCo Library w/ card; hardcover, Powell’s.com, $24; audiobook, Audible.com, $14) RICH SMITH
Fiona Apple
This weekend is a big one if you’re a Fiona Apple fan, because it’s the weekend she releases her first album in seven years, Fetch the Bolt Cutters, the percussion-heavy follow-up to 2012’s The Idler Wheel, an almost uncomfortably vulnerable look inside the singer/songwriter’s soul. Apple spoke at length about the album (and the eye-opening stories and feelings that went into its creation) with the New Yorker‘s Emily Nussbaum, and that long-read is a must-read preamble to an album described by co-producer Sebastian Steinberg (formerly of Soul Coughing) as “raw and unslick. She’s not 17, she’s 40, and she’s got no reason not to do exactly as she wants.”
Sunday, April 19
Oregon Symphony Gala
The Oregon Symphony perseveres in the face of the coronavirus crisis by ensuring their 2020 Gala still goes on—just in a more online, intimate manner than the normal Schnitz-based show might otherwise have been. Local diva Storm Large will sing while backed by a virtual performance from the Symphony, and while “attendance” is free, any donation you can give to the Symphony will be very, very much appreciated. They’d like to be able to return, someday, to filling the Schnitz with the finest orchestral sounds being made in the whole country, and that mission starts here, with them turning your living room into the setting for their big fundraising gala.
(Sun April 19, 7 pm, free, all ages)
The Last Dance
Basketball heads have been fiending for something to scratch that hoops itch, to get a fix for that b-ball jones, and the NBA 2K tourney was… not that. Hopefully they up the production values a little on the next one. But ESPN might finally have the hookup: Their highly-anticipated 10-part documentary series on the final season of the Chicago Bulls dynasty begins with the first two episodes tonight, and continues with back-to-back hour-long episodes every Sunday until the documentary is done and behind us like Bryon Russell watching that jumper fall from the sky.
(Sun April 19, 8 pm, ESPN and ESPN.com)
Little Women
I loved Greta Gerwig’s Lady Bird so much that I went into Little Women with trepidation. Making a follow-up to a movie everyone loved is tricky! And every hater on my block asked why we needed another Little Women movie when the 1995 version is “perfectly fine” and “has Winona Ryder in it.” The answer: You don’t know how good you can have it! You don’t know how good Little Women can be, you poor fools! Gerwig’s Little Women is Romance-era-oil-painting gorgeous, but it’s also realistic, thanks to the performances of the film’s star-studded cast of March sisters: Saoirse Ronan as Jo, Emma Watson as Meg, Florence Pugh as Amy, and Eliza Scanlen as Beth. We see the Marches as we see many families: A force bursting into a room. Laura Dern—for the first time in cinematic history—gives the girls’ mother a full personality. And when the girls’ father turned out to be universally beloved Bob Odenkirk (!) my friend straight-up punched me in the arm because she was already crying and couldn’t talk.
(Now available, iTunes, Prime Video, Google Play, Vudu, $5.99 rental, $14.99 purchase) SUZETTE SMITH
SXSW Pilot Season
South By Southwest is slowly but surely making its way out to the people even though the massive arts festival was one of the first to be severely affected by the coronavirus crisis. This weekend is the first to feature SXSW’s showcase for up-and-coming makers of television, sharing pilot episodes for programmers to hopefully pick up and turn into successful series. The shows are available for free on Vimeo, and include an interesting blend of documentaries and situational comedies. Click here for a full list of participating shows.
(Now Available, Vimeo.com, free)
Homecoming
Usually, podcasts spring out of TV shows, like the aforementioned Way Down in the Hole, focused on The Wire, for example. But sometimes, that creative pipeline flows in the opposite direction. One of the first podcasts to become a TV show is also one of the best shows in the last five years, thanks to showrunner and director Sam Esmail, who took almost every lesson he learned while making Mr. Robot for USA and applied it to his 2018 adaptation of Homecoming, Eli Horowitz and Micah Bloomberg’s psychological mystery about a soldier returned from war and trying to transition to civilian life. Esmail plays with sound, with aspect ratio, with editing, and with genre expectations to create a thriller that evokes the best of ’70s paranoid cinema (The Parallax View, The Conversation) while feeling so new that it might take another two-or-three years for TV to catch up with it. (Oh yeah, and Julia Roberts, Bobby Cannavale, and Stephan James are in it.)
(Now Available, Amazon Prime Video)
Control
If you enjoy the aesthetics of Homecoming but were like “You know what would be awesome? If this show were about 300% more cheesy, and had super-weird guns you could shoot at freaky floating possessed bad guys,” guess what, there’s a video game for that! It’s called Control, and is maybe the most strikingly art-directed third-person shooter of the current generation. It’s storytelling is overheated, glassy-eyed hokum most of the time, aiming for David Lynch and winding up a lot closer to Neil Breen; but the way it looks, the way it moves, and the way it plays is more than enough to make up for that shortcoming. And honestly, if you’re familiar with AAA gaming, you’re already well-practiced in giving that sort of shit a pass anyway, so you’ll be all set to seriously enjoy the dreamlike fun Control offers up.
(Now Available, PS4 Deluxe Edition $47.99; Xbox One $59.99)
Homecoming
This is probably the Homecoming you thought we were recommending earlier. For real, just put this on once a weekend anyway, because you could watch it every Sunday, like it was morning service, from here until a vaccine finally gets produced, and the miracle of how Bey pulled this off live, twice, without a single damn flaw even remotely spottable by electron microscope, will still be beautifully unfathomable.
The Glass Hotel
In this new, time-hopping novel by the author of the National Book Award-nominated Station Eleven (which you probably shouldn’t read in the middle of a quarantine due to global pandemic) a woman disappears off a container ship, her husband tries to float a Ponzi scheme, and her brother, an aspiring musician, copes with a drug problem. The plot is very difficult to summarize, actually, but that’s part of the fun.
(Now Available, ebook and audiobook at MultCo Library w/ card; hardcover, Powell’s.com, $26.95) JOULE ZELMAN
Virtual Sunday Bingo!
You know how this works: Same good ol’ Bingo fun you remember from the last time you hit the Siren and daubed (and dabbed, who knows) to your hearts content, or from the days when nicotine-stained Bingo halls dotted the landscape. But this time, it’s all happening online, hosted by Erin Jean O’Regan and Jed Arkley. Prizes include Siren T-shirts, tickets to shows when the big re-opening finally happens, homemade cloth face masks, and of course, cash prizes.
(Sun April 19, 11 am, Zoom, $5-18)
Carly Rae Jepsen
Of all the things Mercury Editor in Chief Wm. Stephen Humphrey will not ever forgive the coronavirus for, ranking pretty high up there is the fact its proliferation led to the cancellation of the April 16 concert Ms. Jepsen was set to perform at the Roseland. If you seek consolation, as he does, try doing what he’ll be doing this weekend: playing her latest LP Dedicated at top volume while losing a good three-to-four pounds from dancing and singing along the whole time.