Portland Thorns Recap: Thorns Blast Boston Breakers

The Thorns locked in a Labor Day win on Sunday when they beat the Boston Breakers 5-1.
POINTS POINTS POINTS!

AND YOU GET A POINT AND YOU GET A POINT!

If you’re not doing fan kicks and drop splits throughout the city—YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG!
If you’re not making your way to work via grand jetes—YOU ARE COMMUTING WRONG.
IT’S CALLED POSSESSION AND THE THORNS WERE ALL ABOUT IT!

THE BAND IS BACK TOGETHER
It was great to see so many favorites return to the pitch last week in Seattle, but it stings when Portland loses to the Reign. CALL THE BURN UNIT—I NEED A TOPICAL CREAM FOR LAST WEEK’S GAME

Working on the weekend has its rewards. Photo Courtesy of Portland Thorns FC

But this Sunday, after an extended Olympic Break, everyone’s favorite Canadian soccer superstar, Christine Sinclair, returned to Portland to again show her dominance and continued harmony with this team. It was obvious how much the Thorns truly missed this sticky Sinclair substance that holds the team so tightly together. STICKY THORNS MAKE HAPPY SUNDAY

It doesn’t get more *NSINC than this.

We all knew there would be time this season when the Thorns would lack several of their starters due to the “Olympics.” No matter how much you prepare, maintaining without things you are accustomed to changes your chemistry. One time I tried not to consume any gluten for a week and it was MISERABLE. Apparently “bourbon and beer” “contain gluten” and “my misuse of quotation marks” did not “make the other options palatable.” GLUTEN—I CAN’T QUIT YOU

WAITING FOR A GOAL/BRUNCH
Sunday was the first time Thorns played in Providence Park since July 30. Maybe that is why the first 12 or so minutes was slower than a Sunday morning brunch line at any number of restaurants you only go to when someone you have a crush on suggests it, or your parents are in town.

Much like the start of Sunday’s game… we stood and we waited…. Sure we were excited, but we were also absolutely ravenous for a goal and relying on the self serve coffee that was not going to sustain us for much longer. HANGRY FOR POINTS

And then, finally, after months of waiting and 14 minutes into the game, Nadia Nadim sends a corner kick into the box, finding Sinclair’s whimsical Canadian feet and she slips it past the Boston keeper. BABY BYE BYE BYE

Following the first goal of the day, Portland’s goalkeeper, Michelle Betos, showed her agility and strength while denying Boston Breaker’s breakout forward Natasha Dowie. Eventually Betos and the rest of the Thorn’s defense, were given a much deserved break while the action stayed on the Thorn’s offensive side. Sure Boston managed to get one in during the second half when Betos came far off her line—but, as mentioned before, we ended up winning the game 5-1…. SO WHO THE HELL CARES?

IF FIRST YOU DON’T SUCCEED… FORCE A HANDBALL
Portland Midfielder, Lindsey Horan, could have scored the second goal… but she was “offsides.”
Portland Midfielder, Lindsey Horan, could have scored the second goal, but another one of her clever shots was surprisingly denied by the Breakers Goalie.
Portland Midfielder, Lindsey Horan, could have scored the second goal, but when she turned to face the goal, she was met with three defenders and instead of passing away or backing down—she shrewdly forced a handball, offering Nadia Nadim ANOTHER penalty kick, thus Portland leading 2-0.

Air quality was top notch on Sunday at Providence Park Photo Courtesy of Portland Thorns FC

TAKE TAKE TAKE

Just after the second half got started, Ali Long received a well planted ball from Sinclair for the Thorn’s third goal. Nadia Nadim insisted on a fourth and a final fifth goal in the last bit of the game. IT’S NOT GREEDY IF YOU EARN IT

Nadiem consistently finds the ball and makes great things happen. She plays with wild, sometimes reckless, abandon. Fans have watched her play every minute of every game as if her life depended on it. I approach karaoke in a similar way. THUS, WE ARE A LOT ALIKE

Here is what Christine Sinclair had to say about Nadim’s progression this season after the game.

“She’s been one of the leaders on this team that has been here the whole season. Been here pretty much the whole preseason and she’s one of those players that led this team while everyone was gone for the Olympics. I think you saw tonight, she’s deadly in front of goal when given the chance. Just need to keep her going like that for another month.”

TRUTH
Boston finished at the bottom of the league last year, and they are currently ranked at the bottom of the bucket again. But a win is a win-RIGHT? And the Thorns needed some points and a hometown win to throw them back on track for the rest of the regular season.

Currently Portland is ranked second only to the Washington Spirit. We play again on Wednesday at Providence Park and again on Sunday here in Portland as well. Here’s hoping our crew can stay healthy, recover quickly, and finish out the last three games of the season in full stride. If you can’t make it out to the park on Wednesday, you can catch it here.