So here’s what happened: Yesterday I wrote a recap of the season premiere of The Bachelor. I think it was a pretty fair interpretation of the show. But maybe I was a little harsh on some of the contestants. Specifically on Mandi the dentist, who just so happens to be from Portland.

Not sure if Mandi wears that thing on her head all the time or not.
  • Courtesy ABC
  • Not sure if Mandi wears that thing on her head all the time or not.

Maybe I said “my disdain for her is total” and maaaaybe I called her “a disgrace to our city. And America. And our species.”

Which is probably why her self-alleged sister went off in the comments:

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“Notice the 0 likes and 33 dislikes, we are totally doneโ€”I can feel the tines.”

AND it’s probably why Mandi just called me out on Twitter.com! Well, not directly, I guess it was more of a subtweet. See for yourself:

This is what a subtweet is, right? I’m not sure. My heart is too little, too angry, and too hipster to know. Whatever it is, we are totally beefing now, girlfriend.

See Mandi, by accusing me of taking The Bachelor too seriously, you’re coming dangerously close to implying that you don’t take it seriously enough. As Pat Benatar says, love is a battlefield. And war is serious business indeed.

I’ll also point out that I don’t take The Bachelor seriously enough to go onto the show, thereby opening myself up to be mocked by my city’s local alt-weekly blog. If I’m a hipster, then my advice is don’t pick fights with the guy who buys artisanal ink by the reclaimed wood barrel.

I would like to say though, I’m sorry for spelling your name “Mandie” instead of “Mandi” so many times. I also think Lace was wrong to call you “a bitch.”

I hope you’re on the show for a long time!

9 replies on “<i>Bachelor</i> Beef Alert: Mandi Responds!”

  1. I understand The Merc is supposed to be irreverent, but why do I feel so dirty even seeing this blogs title?

    I did not read it either, as I couldn’t bring myself to it.

  2. Anyone who uses the lazy, tiresome joke “Put a fork in yourself, you’re done” shouldn’t criticize other people’s writings or senses of humor.

  3. A grown man writing about the bachelor is sad. The fact that this same grown man is trolling for clicks doing it is even worse. I congratulate you on your irrelevant story and wish you nothing but the best in your dying journalism career.

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