Selena Gomez (former Disney princess—who still looks kind of like a Barbie doll if you ask me—and star of Spring Breakers which is pretty goddamn AWESOME [read my review of that in tomorrow’s Mercury]) went on David Letterman and delivered what I would call a third-degree burn on her ex-boyfriend Justin Bieber. Cue 17,000 Twitter death threats… now.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=OI-UuQCIado

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)