Sorry for the late post, guys. I had a really busy day at the gelato shop and beach and I just couldn’t find the time (actually I was applying for food stamps and working two jobs, but let’s pretend it was the other). Whatever, I’m here now. What did I miss?
Not… fucking… much. If this episode had a center it was Angelina, a character who I find less interesting the more I know about her. She makes everyone else look less spoiled and self-centered, which is pretty crazy when you think about it. Her friend came down from Staten Island, she picked up a guy on the beach, yadda yadda. I am so bored with her even she does reprehensible things. Yeah, leaving your used pad on the floor is fucking gross but whatever, I don’t expect anything better from her. And the lying! She strings along Jose, tells everyone they fucked in a warped effort to save face, then calls Mike a dumbass for believing her when he calls her a whore. I don’t care! I wish a hurricane had washed her, Ronnie and Sammi out to sea on Jose’s birthday table.
The misogyny that so many people have criticized the show for got to me this week, too. Situation brushing off the double standard between women and men by repeating it was irritating (“Everybody loves a guy who gets girls. He’s the man, he’s a pimp. Everybody doesn’t like a girl that’s a ho. And that’s Angelina.”). Pauly was worried the girl who is responding to his interest with mutual interest might “turn into a stalker” AKA expect a relationship. Don’t even get me started on Jwoww’s manipulative manchild of a boyfriend and his little temper tantrum.
These immature mongoloids need to grow the fuck up. The worst part for me was hearing Vinny say that Pauly and he went to the beach because they were so drained from the past week. FROM WHAT?! Cue my brain hemorrhaging.
Stray notes and quotes
I liked Ronnie giving Sam the flowers Vinny left in the Smoosh Room. That made me laugh.
Is “cookah” an accepted term for vagina?
“There’s my children on that bed, there’s Mike’s children, there’s Snooki juice…”
Sammi: “Angelina. She’s my… friend…”
“I thought I broke my vagina bone. It was terrible.”
Angelina: “I do what I want in life. I do what I want.”
What’s redeeming about this show pales in comparison to its mounting suckitude. They are all the worst. Sitch is a 35 year-old rapey man-child. Angelina is revolting. They are the worst. I’m even losing faith in Vinnie. But then again, they’re just a zoo exhibit. Should I be that upset?
-I like watching them during the first 5 minutes traverse the rocky intellectual terrain that is the concept of doing one thing, yet saying another.
-Sammie telling Ronnie she felt like she was falling in love with him all over again made me wanna puke.
-Paulie’s chick typology. I would like to see a venn diagram.
-Paulie’s lady friend-I find her damn hot and hope she gets more screen time. It’ll help balance out the ick.
-Speaking of ick, Snooki Juice. [shudder]
-Snooki screaming “I hate my life!” at the bar b/c “chodes and grenades” were trying to talk to her. Yes, you poor thing. You poor, round, rolly-polly thing.
-Despite their insistence on getting in gym time, the fellas are all starting to get a little squishy.
-I hate when the producers start playing that “wha whu wha” music everytime Snooki’s about to say something stupid. Oh that wacky Snooki and the things she says!
-When will this show mercifully end?
@tsw
Agree on everything. Good call on the Snooki music. Actually, all of the musical cues on this show are really insultingly manipulative, but that’s sort of par for the course with MTV reality programming. It makes for really simple viewing when the music tells me what’s supposed to be silly, sad or when it’s party time.
Oh yeah and Pauly’s lady is too cool for him.