Here’s a sneak peek of tonight’s episode of the heeeelarious Nathan for You (Comedy Central, 10:30 pm), in which comedian Nathan Fielder helps small businesses become successful. (Spoiler alert: His ideas are always uniformly TERRIBLE.) Tonight’s terrible idea: Helping a dating service site attract more women by making them believe they won’t be murdered. Sexist? Yes. But nothing is more sexist than murder, right?

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)