Will Sharknado 2: The Second One (coming to Syfy July 30th) reach the lofty intellectual heights of its predecessor? I DO NOT KNOW THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION. However, despite the crushingly boring minute of conversation between Ian Ziering and Sugar Ray’s Mark McGrath, things go sufficiently bonkers around the 1:36 mark, because that’s when the shark-infested tornado comes in, Judah Friedlander’s enormous baseball bat comes out, and a hilariously terrible actor saying, “SIGH. Where is this damn train?” occurs. Don’t worry, fans—everything will be just fine.
Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.) More by Wm. Steven Humphrey