In a short, sweet, and hilarious two minutes, Stephen Colbert pays tribute to the retiring David Letterman, adding that he really “does not envy whoever they get to replace him.” (Ummm… do you want to tell him, or shall I?)

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

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