There’s nothing like awkward teenage slow dancing to make you STOP worrying about teen sex. In the following heeee-larious video—plucked from the 1981-87 Philadelphia teen dance show Dancin’ on Air—four pairs of postpubescents are spotlighted for their incredibly awkward slow dancing skills. (My observations: Mike and Kelly are obviously planning on raping someone—and not necessarily each other. “Pisces” is not only the man I’d most likely slow dance with, but I’m also stealing his nickname. As for Eric and Vicky? CUT IT OUT, MOM AND DAD! THIS SHOW IS FOR TEENS ONLY!! GAH. YOU’RE SO EMBARRASSING!!)
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These contestents were clearly culled from among hundreds of contenders less skilled at slowly swaying back and forth.
“Pisces” looks like one of those Marvel superhero sidekicks from the ’80s who only lasted a couple of issues. Like if the Sub-Mariner needed a buddy to help him reach out to the troubled kids in the Hood who were pouring used motor oil down the storm drains.
Is that Kelly Ripa?