Steer clear of Pioneer Square, everyone.

"Popular and functional beverage" manufacturer Neuro is convening a flash mob there at 5pm. The flash mob is a totally underground-grassroots surprise, which is why Neuro sent out a press release about it and hired a dance troupe!

More questionable than the "flash" and "mob" qualities of this flashmob is... what the hell is a "functional" beverage? Neuro's handy press release says it's a drink that "supports a variety of cognitive functions" (including NeuroGasm, which stimulates blood flow to the body).

It's a modern miracle! Someone has invented a drink douchier than Vitamin Water.

Anyway, 15 minutes. You've been warned.