The worst/best six minutes of your life. Trust me.

Questions that Fatboy and I had after viewing this:
1. Why is no one marveling that a pile of mashed potatoes has not only gained sentience, but given birth?
2. Why does the pile of mashed potatoes own so much toilet paper?
3. Why can’t this coupon queen get some coupons for picture frames?
4. Is couponer even a word?
5. How often does the father fantasize about offing himself in the garage?
6. How many “juicings” will occur before this kid gets early-onset diabetes?
7. Should a six-year-old’s eyes be this dilated?

ohohnooooo.png

8. Is this the pilot for the live-action Squidbillies show?
9. Can we get a gif of all those beauty pageant kids inhaling Pixy Stix like dead-eyed zombies, followed by the mother burping over and over?
10. How can we be adopted into this family?


You can thank Marissa for this travesty.

Mercury copy chief and appreciator of the most sophisticated form of comedy: PUNS!

10 replies on “How Much Do You Want to Hate Humanity Today?”

  1. My journey into bewilderment and disorientation began with a toilet paper fight. I’m not sure I’ve recovered.

    “It makes me want to pull on mama’s hair….”

  2. Also – this is the first time I’ve watched ANYTHING “Toddlers & Tiaras” and it’s like – you know when a 3 year old toddles up to a stove and wants to touch the glowy thing?

    That’s my soul right now. My blistered, crying soul.

  8. Stray Observations:

    – That woman does not have a fat neck; she has a benign growth filled with delicious turducken.

    – I like Go-Go juice too, but I call mine vodka.

    – I think “couponer” became a viable career choice after they created a whole damn reality show about Extreme Couponing (what’s the name if the show? “Maximum Couponing”? Yeah, that must be it)..

  10. As much as i hate to say it, this is a perfect example of Damosa’s hatred of breeder’s. And shit, they’re even from Georgia…just like him.

Comments are closed.