Subject: Whiskey Flavored Sex Lube

Hey,

I thought you might like to know that some next level business moves are being made on the internet at this very moment.

EpicMealTime is pleased to announce the launch of Whiskey Dick, the world’s first bourbon-flavored personal lubricant. You’re welcome.

EpicMealTime’s Whiskey Dick™ is water based, hand crafted and proudly Made in America. Whiskey Dick is the gold standard of booze-flavored massage oils, it’s aged 4 years in white oak casks and guarantees a velvety-smooth finish. But don’t delay, the first batch only yielded 5,000 bottles and it’s available starting Thursday May 10th at www.whiskeydicklube.com for $11.99.

Whiskey Dick’s distinct Tennessee taste won it a Triple Gold Medal Award at the 10th Annual Great American Sex & Drinking Festival in Bean Station, TN (we also placed in the BBQ competition). So remember, the next time you get Jacked, Whiskey Dick will be there to help you rise to the occasion.

Honestly I feel like I would have some gag-reflex issues here but uh… welcome to the internet, li’l meme.

(This company specializes in gimmicky food things; I have a bottle of their Bacon Salt. It’s vegetarian and great on popcorn.)

Alison Hallett served nobly as the Mercury's arts editor from 2008-2014. Her proud legacy lives on.

6 replies on “Isn’t “Sex Lube” Kind of Redundant?”

  1. Do I want to know how many entries there were in the Lube Tasting competition?

    Also, am I the last guy on earth who just uses good old fashioned narwhal blubber?

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