- Illustration: Andrea Tsurumi
[Editor’s Note: A couple of months ago we asked readers to (anonymously!) send in a 500-word essay on why they think they’re the “Worst Person in Portland” with the winner receiving a $300 grand prize. What we got was an outpouring of self-loathing, passive aggressiveness, and misguided narcissism… in other words, so much fun! However, it made us contemplate what it actually means to be “the worst.” Is it the obvious evil that humanity commits against each other—robbing old ladies, kicking puppies, and the like? Or is it the common, everyday evil that each of us hides within our souls? While you ponder that philosophical question, check out one of our runners up in our “Portland’s Worst Person” contest, who will receive a nice consolation prize. (Well, nicer than he deserves, anyway.) Take it away, terrible person!]
My Heart Is Full of Gratitude
by One-Percent Millennial
I remember a time before food carts, the indoor smoking ban, and before the first Whole Foods Market opened in Portland. Yes, I’m a native Portlander, and I’m happy to see our creative city thriving with rich newcomers.
The metro area employment rate was dismal when I graduated from my top-25 liberal arts college, but thanks to parental connections I landed a great starter tech job. While working hard and prioritizing long-term goals in my early career, I was able to afford a dream car and move from an efficiency apartment in Tigard to homeownership of a nice one-bedroom in the Pearl District.
A few years later, a hot date with a hedge fund manager from NYC developed into a serious relationship. My long-distance partner decided to retire from the stressful Manhattan lifestyle and move to Portland. We both care deeply about climate change and sustainability, so when the time came to move into a bigger condo together, we found a perfect two-bedroom in a contemporary high-rise with LEED credentials, high-end appliances, and floor-to-ceiling windows.
On a typical weekday, I bike to work in the Central Eastside. It’s a rough part of town, but I feel safer now that the urine-soaked tent camps have mostly moved away from the business district. Tech startups are thriving in this neighborhood, and I have a busy morning of crushing code ahead.
I return to the Pearl for lunch with my partner, and then we decide whether to drive the S2000 or the Boxster to our afternoon CrossFit session. Fitness is a central component of my health goals.