Last year around this time, I was riding my bike to work when a squirrel fell out of a tree onto my front wheel. It sorta bounced off the tire and ran away. Two years ago, around this time, I was sitting outside on a friend’s patio when a squirrel fell out of a tree right between our two lawn chairs. It too dusted itself off and ran away.

So what’s up with squirrels and spring? Does it make them lose their shit and get all uncoordinated? I’m only asking because this morning on my walk to work a squirrel almost fell on my head. Do I need to invest in an anti-squirrel flak jacket? Is this happening because squirrels are chowing down on Easter candy and spazzing out? Seriously… this is weird.

Squirrel Helmet.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=OCW8GCaGNsc%26hl%3Den_US%26fs%3D1%26

Mercury copy chief and appreciator of the most sophisticated form of comedy: PUNS!

10 replies on “Squirrelly Squirrels”

  1. I think the squirrels are out to get you. I’m outside a lot, and have never had a tree-rat fall on me. It’s happened to you three times. Maybe you smell like nuts or something.

  2. I live in the South Park Blocks Downtown, and have two dogs who I walk there regularly (they’re essentially our front yard).

    Last year, while on a walk, my dogs treed a squirrel (I was roughly included in the treeing as I was connected to the pooches via leashes, natch). The thing was PISSED. It gave them hell for a while, sounded as if it were cursing them in Squirrelese.

    We continued walking and the squirrel followed us, jumping from tree to tree, still cursing it’s brains out at us, and finally came halfway down a big oak and threw tree bark (or kicked it off) at my dog’s head! He got smacked right in the face with about a 2″ piece of oak!

    They’re downright rambunctious little fucks.

  5. For some reason I just noticed this yesterday as well, but thought I was nuts. I was noticing that the squirrels around the park blocks (also close to where I live) are much less afraid of humans than I’d observed in the past. Usually when I get within 5 feet of the critters they scamper away or run up a tree. Yesterday I damn near almost stepped on one and it just kept scurrying along, minding its own business.

    I think they’re executing their plan for world domination.

  7. I like squirrels. You can talk to them with a sort of sharp steccato “tsk tsk tsk” sound. One time when I lived in New York, I was in Washington square park and demonstrated this to a friend. The squirrel came right up to me and ran right up my pant leg! I just sort of shook him off. There is definitely a difference between the Washington square squirrels and the central park squirrels: the Washington square squirrels are much fatter and lazier. My folks’ miniature dachshund, Mookie, also loves squirrels, he’s killed three.

  8. I’ve been told there are certain poisonous/fermented berries forest critters eat around this time of year that get them… drunk. But that might just be something people say to each other at parties.

    It might just be the hormones.

  9. The pilgrims would celebrate Easter by walking around with empty plates. If the Easter squirrel fell out of the tree and landed on your plate that meant you had to eat it right then or suffer one year’s bad luck.
    LOOK IT UP!

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