Maybe you’re not in need of the following advice… but on the other hand, I don’t know you. So here goes: LSD AND STAR WARS DON’T MIX. From the I, Anonymous Blog:

I was trying to enjoy the new Star Wars at Imax. You were sitting right behind me and started whimper-crying in the most pathetic way. Mind you, this started around the time Han and Leia were reunited, so I couldn’t understand what the fuck could be so fucking sad at that point in the film?!? I thought you might have been simply crying tears of joy at seeing the old lovebirds together again, but no, something much more horrible was amiss, because the sobbing literally didn’t stop for another forty minutes or so. There was also the occasional random snickering mixed in with your primal, childlike weeping, which led me to the conclusion that you were in the middle of a really bad psychedelic trip.

Read the rest here, and don’t forget to drop your own rant, confession, or words of advice in the I, Anonymous Blog—where something is always horribly amiss.

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Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)