It’s back! Welcome to the triumphant return of the Blogtown series we like to call “Worst. Night. Ever.“ Every Wednesday during our weekly “My, What a Busy Week” pitch meetings, someone suggests an event which is the equivalent of throwing acid in our eyes—but we also realize a more enlightened person might love it! Hence, these “risky” events are often unfairly pushed aside. WELL, NO MORE. Instead of allowing what could be entirely worthy events to vanish forever, we’re asking you—yes, YOU—the Blogtown readers to decide which of these events one of us should attend… whether we like it or not!
Every week an editorial staff member will be presented with three events that do not match their personality or interests… like, AT ALL. And here’s the fun part: YOU will vote on and pick the event that must be attended by our unlucky staffer. Afterward he or she will review it right here on the blog! NOTE: Everyone’s taste is different, right? So while attending a Taylor Swift listening party might make Courtney claw her eyes out, Steve might love it! That’s why you might find a perfectly pleasant event or two in the list below. Also, competitors must stay for at least two hours (or until the event is over, whichever comes first) and are not allowed to get drunk, or use any substances (drugs) or distractions (phone/reading material) to dull the pain they may experience. Now let’s see who is up this week:
ARTS EDITOR ALISON HALLETT’S WORST. NIGHT. EVER.
Alison likes cats, not loud sounds, and despises anything that upsets her sense of normality. That’s why we chose the following events that could possibly push her waaaay out of her comfort zone:
• Stay for the entire performance of Falling in Reverse at the Vans Warped Tour: While many of the 100 or so pop punk bands playing at the Vans Warped Tour (this Sunday, June 16 at the Expo Center parking lot) might be enjoyable in one way or another, the band Falling in Reverse is TERRRRRRIBLE. They’re loud, they indiscriminately scream at you, and the tattoos are overwhelming. Here’s their video “Alone” which was dubbed by Vice as “the worst music video ever, starring the world’s biggest dickhead.”
Umm… I think they’re right. Alison would not enjoy this.
• All American Magic Theater at Mall 205: There’s a magic show theater at Mall 205! Did you know this? Sounds interesting to me! Unfortunately, Alison HAAAAAATES magic and the joy of children—so she will probably loath this performance of the All American Magic Show featuring magicians Mark Benthimer and Scott Davis. (They should put “the AMAZING” in front of their names—maybe that would help?) But check out this flyer! It truly is AMAZING!
• The Anahata Festival at Bossanova (Saturday, June 15): This one needs little introduction, other than its description from the organizers.
Enter the Temple for a Full Day Transformational Immersion in Devotional Practices and Sacred Expression.Classical and World Fusion Music Dance and song workshops, ceremonial circles, community yoga, temple bazaar, healing arts showcase, sacred dance transmissions, ecstatic DJ dance party.
I don’t think this is Alison’s cup of sacred tea. Polling closes at noon Friday. (Next week is Courtney Ferguson! Got any discomfortable events for her? The time frame is June 21-23, leave your ideas in the comments!)
Don’t fall for the magic show, people! That’s a cake walk for Alison–she’s a theater critic.
Alison went to Evergreen AND Reed, she can totally roll her eyes for two hours at weird hippy voodoo bullshit. Send her to a parking lot to watch awful music.
“despises anything that upsets her sense of normality.”
this is very accurate.
I need someone to help me tidy up my attic and get my mannequin collection in order, maybe you can throw that into the mix this year.
If magic show wins, a codicil must be added that she will volunteer for any and all audience participation opportunities.
Sorry, but after seeing that video… Can’t do it, I’m just not that mean.
Agreed, LokNaar. I’m no monster. That video, good god. Vans Warped will be the North Korean prison camp of music festivals. I won’t be party to such dehumanization.
Is there an option for picketing the Vans Warped Tour?
HAVE FUN AT WARPED TOUR, BRO. DON’T SPILL MOUNTAIN DEW ON YOUR VANS.
I have a ton of friends attending the event at Bossanova!
This is worse (BETTER) than when I unironically camped at the event that Marjorie was forced to attend.
I’m glad people are voting for Falling in Reverse. It really is the least offensive, and I don’t want Alison to have too bad a night. She works so hard!
@FRUIT CUP: YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG. SCHADEDFRUEDE.
Graham, I think FC is using reverse… something.
That music video is world’s worst song, played on ugliest guitar.
No I really mean it! I’d be scared of the other two! But you can always drink beer and wear earplugs on an uncomfortably hot day in a quasi-park.
I went to Reed, too, and the Anahata Festival sounds like my idea of Hell.
If Alison ends up going to see Falling in Reverse, she should do so wearing at least one piece of their delightful women’s apparel, in order to enjoy the complete FiR experience:
http://kingsroadmerch.com/falling-in-rever…
The Mrs. Radke booty shorts are out of stock 🙁
Dear Alison,
I think you’re a swell person, but for the sake of chosing the worst thing, i voted for Falling in Reverse. And you won’t even be able to drink while watching it. I’m so, so sorry for what i’ve done.
But I want to know what the magic show thingy is like!!! (although it doesn’t seem like the worst thing ever)
I LOVE THIS SERIES! I am thrilled for its return!!! 🙂
If only Brokencyde was playing on that tour you’d have a Win WIN instead of just a win.
I actually wouldn’t mind going to see the show because I would find the people-watching and band-watching entertaining. Train wrecks, y’all…
But yeah, they’re sold out of the Mrs. Radke and Good Girl shorts. It makes me wonder how many they actually made because goodness, how many girls are out in this world wearing them?!