If you’ve somehow managed to trick people into letting you write about film for a living (hi, Steve!) but you don’t do a year-end top 10 list, I’m pretty sure the vengeful ghost of Gene Siskel shows up in your bedroom, Jacob Marley-style, and, snickering maniacally, brutally rips off your thumbs, damning you to a […]
2008
Posted inBlogs
Goodbye (cough) to All That (cough cough): Part Three
Creating False Glamor, live from the Matador! 2 PM, Club 21 The closest dive to the Mercury office is also one of the more fumid bars in town. Again, there’s that whole problem with slinking back to the office after lunch smelling of scotch and the fires of Hades. It seems that as the day […]
Posted inEvents
What’re You Doing Tonight?
Happy New Year’s Eve! And happy Smoking Ban Eve! What’re you up to tonight? Maybe your New Year’s Eve is going to look a little something like this: Do-si-do! Or maybe it will be a little more like this: M’mm, m’mm, sexy disembodied legs! Or perhaps it will go a little something like this… (sure […]
Posted inEthics
Superman: “Smoking Gave Me This Really Weird Voice.”
And if he catches you breaking the smoking ban, he’ll throw you into the stratosphere. Circa 1981…
Posted inMisc.
A Solution to Your Extra Holiday Poundage
Perhaps you’re not one to make resolutions about getting in shape, or you’ve grown fond of the extra girth acquired during the cocktail parties and butter-based meals of the season. Maybe you’re just realistic about managing your expectations. Well then, I give you the Waistband Stretcher: When your waistband feels too snug, reach for the […]
Posted inEthics
Ultimate Warrior: “My Good Friend, I Beg You Not to Smoke”
Okay, so maybe that’s not an exact quote. Circa 1989…
Posted inBlogs
Goodbye…
All week long, I’ve been considering whether or not I’d write a long, heartfelt goodbye post on Blogtown. Now that the time has come to write that post, I just can’t. It would be impossible to sum up the three years I’ve spent here—and the many years at the Stranger prior to that—in a blog […]
Posted inDrunk
Goodbye (cough) to All That (cough cough): Part Two
Smoke Gets in Your Eyes “Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.” -Brooke Shields 9:30 AM, Lotsa Luck I’ve sat down in one of the cushy captain’s chairs in the lovable dive known as the Lotsa Luck. I’ve got two packs of cigarettes in my car and one […]
Posted inCats
French Toddlers with Giant Eyes Are the New Cats
Cat videos are so completely, totally 2008. The new wave is viral videos of extremely attractive French kids who have Vimeo empires created by their doting parents. Capucine is the starlet of this scene, a precocious little French girl with gigantic eyelashes whose videos have become so popular that she’s using her fame to fund […]
Posted inEthics
Why Droids Shouldn’t Smoke
The smoking ban starts tomorrow… but why not stop smoking today? No matter what you think, C3PO is right when he says that smoking doesn’t make you look grown-up at all!
Posted inNews
Good Morning, News!
After considering a truce, Israel decides to keep bombing the shit out of Hamas for awhile. But don’t get them wrong! They’re totally open to not bombing the shit out of them at some point in the future. Senate democratic leadership have three words for Gov. Rod Blagojevich’s appointment of Roland Burris: OH, HELL NO! […]