First things first—to avoid seeding any unwarranted woe: Yes, there was an explosion and radiation leaks at the Japanese nuclear power plant everyone's been worried about. But, no, officials say (and hopefully they ain't lying), a meltdown is NOT imminent. Also, radiation levels are fading.
Japan has just begun the desperate search for survivors and the counting of its dead. The toll is already at 1,700, but swaths of countryside submerged by tidal waters remain inaccessible; in one obliterated town, as many as 10,000 people remain missing. Watch video of the destruction, the day after, here.
Harbors along the West Coast also were pounded by high water from the tsunami. Brookings has possibly suffered millions of dollars in damages, prompting a visit today from Governor John Kitzhaber and Senator Jeff Merkley. Northern California ports like Santa Cruz and Crescent City also suffered heavy losses.
How powerful was the quake? It was strong enough to shove Japan's main island eight feet off its previous moorings and alter the Earth's axis.
The revolt in Libya is drawing young boys who want to take up arms and fight against Moammar Qaddafi's 40-year rule. Qaddafi's forces continue to bomb the shit out of rebels, and now leaders of neighboring nations, at a meeting of the Arab League, may vote for a "no-fly zone" over Libya.
You can feel better if you let a government worker wearing latex handle your bits the last time you flew. The Transportation Security Administration has ordered new radiation tests for its full-body security scanners.
A tour bus in the Bronx, sent hurtling into a highway sign post by a tractor-trailer, was sawed in half this morning. Thirteen of the bus's 32 passengers were killed.
In one pocket of the Pearl District, dreams of a building's high-tech rejuvenation (a dream funded by tax dollars) have encountered what could generously be described as hiccups.
Sorry, halfwit fans of Two and a Half Men. Uncle Jessie says he wants no part of Charlie Sheen's sloppy seconds.
ALSO! SET YOUR GAWDAMNED CLOCKS AHEAD TONIGHT. DON'T ARGUE. JUST DO IT. GO TO BED EARLY FOR A CHANGE.