Presenting... tonight's nightmare, today! Check out this "sea monster"—whose mouth looks a little too much like my former mother-in-law's—that was found in New Jersey waters, but was luckily murdered by a jarhead's bow and arrow (!).

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As mentioned in this news report, this thing is possibly a "sea lamprey" which according to the following unintentionally funny PSA is dangerous enough to lead to the downfall of the Great Lakes. (Apparently lampreys are the modern day "red scare" Communists of the sea monster kingdom.)