Dear Burnside Bridge Beard-iots. Yeah you guys. The douchetards with the beards and the requisite Portland hipster accoutrements which are so ubiquitous that they don't bear describing yet again. You're famous now...for being idiots. You haven't trimmed your facial hair in years and now you and your gaggle of ZZ Top wannabes want to dress up like a militia or a child molester and go hang out on the Burnside Bridge with a fucking assault rifle? You'd think that in your middle age (and yeah...most of you pathetic fucktards are middle-aged) you would have enough sense to realize that the rules of the real world are quite different from the rules at whatever dead-end job you have that enables you to work 10 hours a week, thereby devoting the other 30 to drinking and circle-jerking each other in the "cultural" Ouroboros of Portland.
Like a lot of "art" in Portland, your little stunt was quickly exposed for the the stupid and self-serving publicity stunt it actually was. Did you raise ANY money for what your dickbag spokesman so eloquently described as "just trying to save some boobs" or did you blow it all on another feckless night of drinking and reminiscing about this newest notch on your retard-belt?
I'm sure the Susan Komen Foundation can survive just fine without your efforts, but in the mean time congratulations on your 15 minutes. Now...scurry back to the corner there and make way for the next group of fuckstick samaritans.
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