Ok California drivers, this one’s for you. I know car rants are played out and everyone hates them. But I hate getting cut off in traffic by you. I hate that you zip around busses dangerously. I hate that you crowd cyclists out of lanes on purpose and then laugh about it. I hate that I can’t get in a crosswalk without one of you (and it’s ALWAYS CALIFORNIA PLATES) almost taking me the fuck out with your lack of regard or awareness of pedestrians. You are in a metal machine that will fucking flatten me. Have some patience, smoke your wood pipes and keep on over using the word hyphy, twiddle your newly waxed mustaches, keep your new sugar skull tattoos lotioned, but please, please stop driving like assholes.
California Driving, on Such a Portland Day
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They don’t drive like assholes, they just drive with a purpose. And it probably seems crazy to many local drivers who sit dazed for 10 seconds after the light turns green, or slow down drastically on approaching a green light for no good reason, or dive 15mph under the speed limit with no passing. I’m not from Cali but i’ve driven in almost every major city, and nowhere else do people drive with their heads completely up their ass like they do here.
I call them cal holes. But some wash holes can be just as bad and they’re more numerous. Be thankful the york holes are much fewer and far between out here. Then you have them Nava holes and Ida holes… they’re another story altogether
I can’t really say I’ve had any problems with California drivers.
Now, those Oregon drivers are another story, but they outnumber the Cali drivers…
Haven’t observed the plates too much, but anybody who buzzes by busses and intimidates bicyclists and would, I’m sure, speed down side streets past playgrounds and double parked ice cream trucks, should be tied to a stake and passers by should be offered $20 to please work up the globbiest spit wad you can and LET FLY!
Special prizes can be awarded for the most accuracy, the messiest and Grand Prize of $1000 for the splat that gets the wildest reaction from the jerk or jerkette.
As if local drivers aren’t bad enough, those California plates show up on cars of reckless drivers in Honolulu, too.