Fuck you, assholes with beards, with your stupid hairdo's, your stained pants, and your overpriced sunglasses, I don't care about your band and I hope you and your art project fade into oblivion along with your bros that filled up the local pubs and drowned out all the quality conversation. Fuck you, yoga studios with whimsical names, with your elitist personalities and your "open community" that's 100% white and sits where a long-time family business once stood; pushed out by sky-high rent prices and forever changing a neighborhood that's unrecognizable after gentrification. The city itself is unrecognizable with so many fucking people everywhere, choking up the roads and affordable housing that make this town the funky destination it once was. This place sucks with so many new apartments and condos going up, it sucks now with no where to sit when I go out to eat, and worst of all, it sucks because the people that came here are the Yoko Ono's of my generation. We've been invaded by talentless, elitist, trendy, selfish, hollow-eyed Ewoks in yoga pants. Go fuck yourselves with a selfie-stick.
The views expressed in these submissions are from anonymous, unverified sources and do not necessarily represent those of the Portland Mercury.