THURSDAY, OCTOBER 9
9:30 NBC SNL WEEKEND UPDATE
Debut! Amy Poehler, Seth Meyers and the SNL crew present an expanded weeknight edition of the update.
10:00 FX IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA
The gang must use CSI tactics to discover who left a poopy on Charlie's bed.
FRIDAY, OCTOBER 10
9:00 CBS THE EX LIST
Bella reunites with her ex-slacker boyfriend who is now way, waaaay too athletic.
9:00 USA THE STARTER WIFE
Debut! A dumped wifey gets her life back on track in this show that nobody except lonely people will watch on a Friday night.
SATURDAY, OCTOBER 11
8:00 NBC CELEBRITY CATWALK CHALLENGE
Tori Spelling hosts this contest where washed-up celebs humiliate themselves further by pretending to be models.
SUNDAY, OCTOBER 12
9:00 VH1 ROCK OF LOVE CHARM SCHOOL
Debut! Sharon Osbourne helps the ho-bags from Rock of Love attempt to feign a little class.
10:00 AMC MAD MEN
Don takes a business trip to L.A. where he gets to screw an entirely different class of people.
MONDAY, OCTOBER 13
9:30 ABC SAMANTHA WHO?
Season premiere! Sam competes in a dance-off against an alumni of Dancing with the Stars! Not... fair!
10:00 NBC MY OWN WORST ENEMY
Debut! Christian Slater stars as a schmoe who has no idea he's a super spy! I have similar concerns.
TUESDAY, OCTOBER 14
10:00 ABC ELI STONE
Season premiere! Eli's blindness prevents him from seeing special guest star Sigourney Weaver!
11:00 WE SEX CHANGE HOSPITAL
Debut! I know nothing about this show, and yet? What else do I need to know?
WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 15
6:00 ALL NETS PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE
This is the very, very last presidential debate between McCain and Obama... so make up your goddamn mind already!!
9:00 BRAVO PROJECT RUNWAY
Season finale! The final four present their designs, which I would never wear in a billion years.