We were so rushed to find a rental house in this crazy Portland market that $1200 for a 2 bedroom house in SE sounded pretty great. We gave you money, signed the “lease” you wrote yourself and got some keys. This was all before we even got to see the house, trusting that everything was up to code and the house was in good shape.

It was not.

Best part about the rental, we got to fix all the things that were wrong with your house because you’re so considerate and made our rent really “cheap”. We re-caulked all the single-pained windows, and tried to figure out how to insulate a old non-insulated home. Burning it down would of helped.

We survived the winter only to find out that you’ve made the unit connected to our house an Airbnb! Whoa, so fucking cool. We were so stoked that all the utilities end up in our mail box and you ask us to pay for your airbnber’s usage as they shit salt n’ straw and keep the lights on all fucking day.

Please respond to our 30 day notice, which I texted you, because your “lease” didn’t give us your home address you fedora wearing nazi.

(This is a lesson well learned, don’t rent a house without a legit lease, don’t rent a house without a walk through. Be smart, and don’t wear a fedora.)

6 replies on “Dear Fedora Wearing Landlord”

  1. Wow, stop fixing up a rental when you don’t own it. Your rent will probably increase next year. Caulking a window?! You got to be fucking kidding me. When you do get evicted, I’ll rent you a room in the basement but you’ll have to install your own egress window.

  2. My God, I don’t want to comment on this because it is so sad. So SAD you are so dumb,dumb,dumb. Lay your caulk gun down, Now.

  5. Umm. ORS Ch. 90 is a renter’s best friend. I bet your ass hat landlord charged you first, last, and security as well as a non refundable deposit, which would be contrary to the statute. Your fault for not knowing your rights as a tenant, and your landlord’s fault for not knowing his rights and limitations as a landlord.

  6. Jeez, I thought I was being landlord friendly by flushing when the water gets real yellow and of course brown too. What is a caulk gun?

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