Matt Bors

EDITOR'S NOTE: Nobody parties harder than Mercury readers. It's a FACT! That's why we sponsored the first "Best Party EVER!" Reader Essay Contest, in which the winning essay would win $100 and a free DJ for their next banging party! Though all of the stories were hilarious, the winning essay belonged to Scottie Vest who along with a friend, crashed the party of the eccentric cult Italian film actress/director Asia Argento. (It should be noted at this point that Ms. Argento does NOT have herpes, and any accusations made to the contrary in the following piece are COMPLETELY UNTRUE.) Congrats to Scottie, as well as to Ron Mather, whose "Honorable Mention" essay we've also included for your enjoyment. Want to read more party stories? Check out and the "Now I Am Drunk" forum online at Blog Town, USA!