Here’s an I, Anonymous tip from your local restaurant worker.

As much as I appreciate your business…I wish that just once you would leave with the food you just consumed still in you. Or at the very least put forth a little more effort wiping the toilet down after you ram your fucking finger down your throat leaving your lunch behind.

OH. I thought she was talking about not forgetting my doggie bag. Anyway! Do you have a rant, confession, or stomach churning bit of advice for the general populace? Leave it behind at the I, Anonymous Blog—where we’re happy to clean up after you.

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Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)