… he can solve a Rubik’s Cube in under 90 seconds! WATCH!!


However, you’re still better than him in the “doesn’t wear a leather coat with the collar turned up instead of a shirt” department. SO THERE’S THAT!

TEENY-TINY POSTSCRIPT: On its YouTube homepage, this video currently has 350 “likes” and 475 “dislikes.” WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE??

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

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