WHETHER RICK SANTORUM approves or not—same-sex marriages are going to happen. Whether President Obama continues to "evolve" or not—same-sex marriages are going to happen. The writing's on the wall, and there's no way now that "one million moms" can stop it. It's simply a matter of time—and since the most recent poll proclaims that 54 percent of Americans now support same-sex marriages, that time could be coming sooner rather than later.

Therefore, "now" might be a good time to start planning your same-sex wedding.

Ask any opposite-sex married couple: Weddings are insanely difficult and time consuming to plan. You have to choose the location, the officiant, the caterer, the seating arrangement, the gown(s) or tuxedo(s), the DJ, the honeymoon spot... GASP! Even if same-sex marriage isn't nationally approved for another five years, you're already WAY behind schedule. Lucky for you the Mercury is here with tons of same-sex wedding tips that are so easy to understand, even dumb opposite-sex couples can use 'em!

No need to thank us... just have a beautiful wedding. After all this time, you deserve it. Oh! And save us a slice of cake.