WHETHER RICK SANTORUM approves or not—same-sex marriages are going to happen. Whether President Obama continues to “evolve” or not—same-sex marriages are going to happen. The writing’s on the wall, and there’s no way now that “one million moms” can stop it. It’s simply a matter of time—and since the most recent poll proclaims that 54 percent of Americans now support same-sex marriages, that time could be coming sooner rather than later.

Therefore, “now” might be a good time to start planning your same-sex wedding.

Ask any opposite-sex married couple: Weddings are insanely difficult and time consuming to plan. You have to choose the location, the officiant, the caterer, the seating arrangement, the gown(s) or tuxedo(s), the DJ, the honeymoon spot… GASP! Even if same-sex marriage isn’t nationally approved for another five years, you’re already WAY behind schedule. Lucky for you the Mercury is here with tons of same-sex wedding tips that are so easy to understand, even dumb opposite-sex couples can use ’em!

No need to thank us… just have a beautiful wedding. After all this time, you deserve it. Oh! And save us a slice of cake.

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

One reply on “The <i>Portland Mercury</i>‘s Annual Queer Guide Presents…The Wedding Issue”

  1. Hi there! I wish we knew you were working on this new guide! My name is Mike, and my friend and I just launched a new gay wedding invite business called Queer Getting Married. We are based in Seattle, ship nationwide and to Canada, and have a partnership with a local queer owned and operated printer. We also donate 5% of our profits to marriage equality organizations (right now Washington United for Marriage). We offer ready-made designs and custom orders. Check us out at http://www.QueerGettingMarried.com !

Comments are closed.