Credit: AARON walker

At a communal Friendsgiving party two years ago, I played a prototype of a card game called Pitch, Please! and it was so much fun I interrogated the artist/game creator Carolyn Main afterward about where I could get such a game. At the time, Main was about a third of the way through conceptualizing and making the cards that comprise Pitch, Please!โ€™s game deck. Now, FINALLY, her Kickstarter is upon us. Starting Monday, June 5, she began to raise the funds sheโ€™ll need to print and ship the decks to fans and game lovers around the world! (The world? She swears she worked out the math.)

Pitch, Please! benefits from Mainโ€™s talent as an artistโ€”her illustrations and comics have frequently appeared in the Mercuryโ€”as well as her humor. In her own words, Main has โ€œidentified and illustrated 52 movie clichรฉsโ€”like Vaguely European Super Villain, Sexy Hackers, Sport Dogโ€ on cards that players draw from to create one-minute elevator pitches for imaginary movies. Pitch, Please! is heavily reliant on cleverness, but could be won with sexiness, camp, or just plain gross-out factor/wrongness.

Each card is beautiful, but also funny, because Mainโ€™s style, which is similar to that of John Kricfalusi (Ren and Stimpy): colorful, exaggerated, and butt-centric. Mainโ€™s art is either for adultsโ€”she has dollar bills doggy-humping in her Kickstarter videoโ€”or for kids in the way Garbage Pail cards were for kids. Parental discretion advised!

I played Pitch, Please! with some strangers at a barbecue to give you a sense of how the game goes. I played the role of Producer, which meant I got to be the judge but, like, a sleazy judge that influences things. Using the Genre card, Team Penguin Force chose Documentary and Team Husband Force chose Sci-Fiโ€”though the rules allow for any genre imaginable. Team Penguin Force used their โ€œCoveted Tchotchke,โ€ โ€œMonkey Business,โ€ and โ€œNatural Disasterโ€ cards to pitch a documentary about a real-life monkeyโ€™s paw. Film title: Paranormal Objectsexual. Tagline: โ€œYouโ€™re going to shock the monkey.โ€

Husband Force chose their โ€œPlanned Pregnancy,โ€ โ€œComically Mismatched Partners,โ€ and โ€œHeroic Feats of Property Damageโ€ cards to spin a YA story about twin teen scientists wreaking havoc in the American Corn Belt. Film title: Cornfed Twins. Tagline: โ€œSandy and Stueyโ€™s double monster mix-up!โ€

Penguin Force was victorious. It seemed like the husbands werenโ€™t really trying.

Learn more about Pitch, Please! at the
Kickstarter campaign.

Suzette Smith is the arts & culture editor of the Portland Mercury. Go ahead and tell her about all your food, art, and culture gripes: suzette@portlandmercury.com. Follow her on Twitter, Bluesky,...

2 replies on “Pitch, Please!”

  1. HI! Carolyn here. Thanks so much for playing my game, and the beautiful words about it. The Kickstarter link is here: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/114… and we funded in 48 hours! Still, buy you a deck while we get the big print going. If we hit the next stretch goal, we’ll be playing it around Portland businesses from June 26th to July 3rd. So stay tuned ๐Ÿ˜€

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