Shane Torres is getting plenty of love this week because Portland collectively didn’t know what it had until it was gone (not quite gone, he’s got a big going away show tonight you should go to). But since he’s the kind of guy who doesn’t take compliments well, I figured I’d throw my personal well […]
Alex Falcone
Alex is a moderately attractive comedian and Internet celebrity. He writes about philosophy, robots, travel, and himself.
Posted inMovies & TV
Nicolas Cage Leaves Fun Behind
Left Behind: Jesus and Nicolas Cage, Together at Last
Left Behind: Jesus and Nicolas Cage, together at last.
Posted inComedy
Laurie Kilmartin’s 45 Jokes About My Dead Dad
The people behind the Bridgetown Comedy Festival are bringing one of my favorite comedians to town this Friday. Laurie Kilmartin is a writer for Conan, and a very funny comic, but you may know her from Twitter where she got a lot of attention last year for live-tweeting of her father’s decline and passing. It […]
Posted inComedy
Late Night Action Season 5 Starts Monday
Next Monday my Mercury-sponsored talk show is returning for its 5th season (!) in an amazing new venue, Mississippi Studios. For our season opener, we’re talking to two of Portland’s coolest creative types, Hutch Harris from the Thermals and Kelly Sue DeConnick, author of Pretty Deadly and Captain Marvel among other stuff. Plus we’ve got […]
Posted inPolitics
Black and White? One Font? Four More Question Marks????
The upcoming off-year election is still two months out, but I have an early favorite for best political billboard. This series of incredulous monochromic advertisements are paid for by Seneca, the logging company outside Eugene famous for its controversial garbage fire. They’re angry about something, but it’s hard to know exactly what since they’re not […]
Posted inArtsy
There Needs To Be More Forest For The Trees
The Portland mural extravaganza Forest For The Trees wrapped up last week and the whole city is roughly 3% cooler because of it. I absolutely love this project. It feels mischievous and whimsical at the same time, which I enjoy. I especially enjoyed it because I was out of town for the week of the […]
Posted inMovies & TV
The Expendables 3: Teaching Young Dogs Old Tricks
THE EXPENDABLES 3The graphic designer died of carpal tunnel. Despite making “old vs. new” a central premise of the movie, The Expendables 3: The Squeakquel doesn’t try to break any new ground in the action genre. It’s main differentiating feature is a casting director who can’t say no. If you like explosions and playing the […]
Posted inCrime
I Watched a Car Get Broken Into. Should I Have Done Something Different?
It was a corner much like this. On Sunday I noticed, from my fourth-story apartment, a guy trying to unlock car door with a hanger. He was in the parking lot across the street on the corner and in broad daylight. I assumed it was his car. So did everybody else walking around on this […]
Posted inConflict of Interest
The War For Late Night: Ticket Giveaway
Remember the writer’s strike a few years ago when all the talk show hosts went on each other’s shows because they needed to fill time? Well, summer is kinda like the writer’s strike for local theater. So I’ve agreed to appear on a rival talk show that is probably totally inferior to my talk show […]
Posted inComedy
I Shot a Gun For The First Time and It Was Pretty Fun I Guess
I’d never touched a gun before. I’m not opposed to touching them, I just don’t hang out in the kinds of places where people shoot things. I think the only time I’d even seen a gun close up was when I was a young punk hustling a poker game run by members from a motorcycle […]
Posted inTV
It’s Time to Slaughter the GEICO Pig
I fucking hate Maxwell, the GEICO pig. I’m a vegetarian, but I would eat bacon if you could promise me it came from that pig. I’d eat bacon if there was even a 50% chance it came from the GEICO pig. Fine, I wish I could eat bacon. But personal struggles aside, Maxwell needs to […]
Posted inSports
The Portland Thunder: A Sports-Themed Fever Dream
Going to watch the football show put on by the Portland Thunder, our new Arena Football League team, is like entering another world. It’s miniature football with full-sized men and the glitz of the NFL replaced by a DIY demolition derby vibe. The Moda Center (henceforth referred to as the Thunder Dome, obviously) was roughly […]