Anonymous

“Shrimps is bugs” all over the city: Thank you for leading me to this rabbithole of scientific and taxonomic discovery. Love a good perspective flip. No, it hadn’t occurred to me before, I was stuck on how their tails look like mermaids. This is all very fun to think about, reevaluating attachment to categories and […]

Google has recently started scanning and analyzing every email you receive using their Gemini AI. This ‘feature’ has been automatically enabled for all users. To disable it, go to settings in your Gmail account, scroll down to ‘smart features’ and uncheck the box. Below that, there’s also settings called ‘manage workspace smart features’. Make sure […]

Instead, each car will be permanently connected to the Internet through satellite and your speed will be constantly monitored through a combination of GPS and AI. Any deviation will be penalized. If we’re lucky, a warning first. Coming home late from the airport? No other cars on the road and headed down a straightway? Doesn’t […]

Here’s the thing children. You’ve always been allowed even encourage to ask for help and ideas when you’d like to. We’ve been doing our best to drop hints of the years and a few of you have pick up things here and there. Typically, in situations like these, it’s customary to accept that your personally […]

Seeing 4 articles in a row plastered along the front of the NYTimes makes me groan inside. I get the gist of who he was, of who Trump is, please stop telling me that my life depends on discovering more information or digging deeper into a conspiracy because to tell you the truth, I really […]

Am I the only one wondering if Thanksgiving is going to be 2020 flavored? Will the TSA walk out on the job? Will PDX become a holiday romcom of strangers-connecting-that-normally-never-would-otherwise giddily bonding over their shared serendipitous misery, or will it be more of a Lynchian dystopia of infinity lines with nobody willing to hold your […]

I think I will hide away for a while. It’s all too much and it makes me barely able to get to work and get the dishes done let alone focus on the betterment of myself or society. I need to hibernate or somehow renew. A cocoon I can wrap my slimy fat body into […]

Listen, I want to shop at your store. You’re (kinda) local and you employ a ton of Portlanders and buy from local farms and breweries and wineries and bakeries. You have a great variety of local seasonal organic stuff, and also regular stuff like Triscuits and Cheerios. You have beautiful flowers and the people at […]

Every day. Nearly. Every. Damn. Day. Maybe twice a day. Shooting rigidly awake from blissful sleep into the literal warzone of bleating death engines. My complex is surrounded sometimes by several dudes just running their nozzles over the same already clean patch of grass. It sends my dog into a mania. It sends me into […]

If you’re really asking me to define the relationship. I’d say its closer to a No Strings Attached situation than anything else. We know each other. There is some modicum of respect there. We have similar interests and consume a lot of the same media. Yes, we’ve even fucked each other a couple of times […]

You and Debbie downer should know that when you attempted to log into my disabled Facebook account I received a text message that an attempt was made. I know it was you because it was the same day the two of you were having a little meeting about our neighborhood Facebook page. Your nephew also […]

Whenever I see the Labubu Cybertruck it just ruins my day. I wish they’d change it to something else.