Dan Savage

Very long story short, I’m a woman in the process of getting out of a long and abusive marriage. I’m getting therapy. One factor of that abuse: I’m still a virgin, at least as far as penetration is concerned. (That’s another long story.) If I can even find anybody interested in me, how do I […]

How long after a divorce does someone become “emotionally available” for a new relationship? Someone who initiated a divorce—someone who made up their mind, got a lawyer, and filed the paperwork—is probably going to be “emotionally available” a little sooner than someone who was blindsided when their spouse “asked” for a divorce. (It’s not really […]

When I first got engaged to my wife, I tried to ease into a conversation about cuckolding, but it went poorly. I tried to broach the subject by telling her monogamy wasn’t a requirement for me and she got upset. She thought I wanted to have sex with other women. I do not. I reassured her […]

I’m a 50-year-old cis straight female writing with a question about my son. He’s 19 and in college. I’m a single mom and we are very close. When he was eight, I found him on my laptop looking at videos of “strong women” wrestling with men. Since then, that’s all he looks at online and fantasizes […]

I recently split from a committed, monogamous, extremely long-term relationship. I’m now exploring the dating scene as someone who has never dated online prior to this year. I’m a woman with kids, and I’m not looking for another parent. I want to keep things casual. I haven’t had any boyfriends yet, just a couple of regular […]

I’m a 29-year-old cis straight male. What are the ethics of having a minor cum/breeding kink? Thanks, Dan! No one chooses their kinks—our kinks choose us—so having a kink doesn’t raise ethical issues. Acting on our kinks… making choices that impact others… that’s where ethical concerns kick in. So, if it turns you on to […]

Dear Savage Love Readers,  This is the “Mini” Savage Love. To read the “Maxi” Savage Love—the full, unabridged column, with more Qs and more As—please subscribe at Savage.Love. Magnum Subs get the full column and archives and the extra-long Magnum Savage Lovecast, plus bonus podcasts and live events for just 40 bucks a year. There’s also […]

Dear Savage Love Readers,  This is the “Mini” Savage Love. You’ll find the Mini column here every week—at least one great question, a (hopefully) great answer from me. To read the “Maxi” Savage Love—the full, unabridged column, with more Qs and more As—please subscribe at Savage.Love. Magnum Subs get the full column and archives and […]

Dear Readers: I’m away this week, so we’re re-running a popular Q&A from a few years back. This column originally appeared in late June of 2018. I’ll be back next week with a brand-new column. — Dan  I am a 24-year-old straight guy who recently broke up with my girlfriend of more than four years. […]

Dear “Savage Love” Readers: After November 14 my website Savage.Love will become the exclusive online home for my column. My column will still appear in print in some publications, but you will no longer be able to read the column online anywhere other than Savage.Love. This move will allow me to continue bringing you new […]

There is more to this week’s Savage Love. To read the entire column, go to Savage.Love. Can someone be both homosexual and asexual? I can’t wrap my brain around this one. Sure, a person can be asexual while also being homosexual… because asexuality is a spectrum, and that spectrum is broad and vast and includes […]