Marc Atkins / Getty Image Sport The US Women’s Soccer team pounded out a 2-1 win over Spain Monday in a gritty fast-paced thriller of a match. SUPER STAMINA ACTIVATED! The last time the US played Spain was in January 2019 and they won 1-0. The US was heavily favored to win this match, but […]
Erin O'Regan
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World Cup Recap: US Women’s National Team SQUASH Sweden!
Martin Rose / Staff / Getty Sports The US Women’s National Team swept Sweden 2-0 Thursday in their final group stage match at the Women’s World Cup! BIG SHARK CHOMPS SWEDISH FISH! SOMETHING TO PROVEWe already knew the USWNT was advancing into the knockout stage of the tournament—but this match determined who the US will […]
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Women’s Soccer Recap: Another World Cup Win and a Thorns Draw
Sometimes it hard to be a woman… Photo credit Portland Thorns FC HOLY GUACAMOLE! It’s been an action-packed and gobsmacked week of stellar soccer! The US Women’s national team won their second game in the 2019 World Cup against Chile 3-0 and the Portland Thorns gained one point with a 1-1 draw against the North […]
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How to Watch the Women’s World Cup (Without Being a Jerk and Subsequently Embarrassing Yourself)
The USWNT busted down the World Cup door with a record-breaking 13-0 win over Thailand Robert Cianflone / Getty Images Sports WORLD CUP MANIAThe United States Women’s National Team eviscerated Thailand in their first game of the World Cup scoring a whopping 13 goals to Thailand’s zero goals in Reims, France on Tuesday. It’s been […]
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Recap: Portland Thorns Snuff the Red Stars 3-0!
It’s good to be back! The Portland Thorns smashed the Chicago Red Stars 3-0 on Sunday at Providence Park. This was the first Thorns home match of 2019 after a six away-game stretch on Sunday. A TRIUMPHANT RETURN INDEED! The last time Portland played Chicago was on April 20 in Chicago and both teams had […]
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Thorns Leave Pride Wounded, 2-0
Two goals and three points – Not a bad way to start the 2019 season! Photo credit Portland Thorns FC The Thorns defeated the Orlando Pride 2-0 in a majestic performance of skill, speed, and BRASSY SOCCER on Sunday! TAP DANCING TERRORDACTYLS IN TURTLENECKS! KEEEEYAAAAA! This was the first regular season game for both teams […]
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The Portland Thorns are Back; Let the Summer Fun Begin!
Forget vest season! SCARF SEASON IS BACK! Image courtesy of Portland Thorns FC LET THE SUMMER OF SOCCER LOVE BEGIN!The Portland Thorns are back in play this Sunday against the Orlando Pride, and I’m so excited my left arm is numb and I have a tightness in my chest. CALL A DOCTOR OR JUST GET […]
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Thorns Tumble to Courage in NWSL Championship
Always a good start at home! Photo courtesy of Portland Thorns FC The Portland Thorns fell 3-0 to the North Carolina Courage in the NWSL Championship match Saturday afternoon at Providence Park. FARTS ON FEATHERS! Any honest Thorns fan would agree that this was going to be a tough match—despite home field and hurricane advantage. […]
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Thorns Championship Preview (and Panic!)
Fill your lungs with BLOOD SMOKE GOODNESS. Photo courtesy of Portland Thorns FC The Portland Thorns will play the North Carolina Courage for the 2018 NWSL Championship this Saturday here in good ol’ Portland! CAKE IN THE FACE! THEY’VE DONE IT AGAIN! The Thorns have FOUGHT and SPARRED through a season of HIGHS and LOWS […]
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Thorns Smother Reign 2-1; Head to Championship!
It’s a corner kick party and everyone’s invited! Photo courtesy of Portland Thorns FC The Portland Thorns SMOTHERED The Seattle Reign 2-1 on Saturday solidifying their spot in the 2018 final! SNAPKICKS AND CHOPSTICKS! THE THORNS HAVE DONE IT AGAIN! DIDN’T WE ALREADY DO THIS?If you are thinking, “Hey wait a minute, didn’t the Thorns […]
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Thorns Head to Playoffs—Here are the Players to Watch!
For the third season in a row, the Portland Thorns—who have been more in sync than Justin Timberlake and Joey Fatone—are heading into another playoff scenario this month… but this time? WE GOT OURSELVES A HOMETOWN THROWDOWN! The Thorns are locked and loaded for a playoff match against Northwest rival the Seattle Reign in Portland […]
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Thorns Rip Reign 3-1 to Secure Playoff Advantage
So much blood smoke and such a fun time! Photo courtesy of Portland Thorns FC The Thorns ripped through the Seattle Reign 3-1 on Friday night at Providence Park! WHOOP THERE IT IS! WHOOP THERE IT IS! This was the final match of the regular season for both teams. We all know how these two […]