Hidden Valley Franch gets it done. Photo courtesy of Portland Thorns FC The Portland Thorns fell 1-0 to the North Carolina Courage in their season opener on Saturday in North Carolina. COMMENCE SATURDAY SOB FEST This match was fast-paced, and thanks to the Thorns backline, held to only one Carolina goal. Pressure started early with […]
Erin O'Regan
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Portland Thorns Preseason News: The Good and the Goodbyes
Anyone else looking forward to the majesty known as a Thorns home match? Image courtesy of Portland Thorns FC Hi, extra cuties! How is Soccer City USA doing? Did you miss me? No? That’s okay. The last time I wrote, I was in a hysterical spin of championship bliss when the Portland Thorns clenched the […]
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Meet Your 2017 NWSL Champions: THE THORNS
The Thorns are your 2017 NWSL Champions Photo courtesy Portland Thorns FC For the second time in league history, the Portland Thorns are the National Women’s Soccer League Champions! GLITTER CANNONS TO THE FACE! THE LADIES IN RED MADE IT HAPPEN! The Thorns defeated the North Carolina Courage 1-0 in a scrappy tappy final matchy […]
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Thorns Pummel Pride 4-1; Head to NWSL Finals!
What a team! What a crowd! WHAT A MATCH! Photo courtesy Portland Thorns and Craig Mitchelldyer The Portland Thorns completely and convincingly pummeled the Orlando Pride 4-1 in a semifinal matchup at Providence Park on Saturday. ROCK SQUATS AND GARLIC KNOTS! THEY REALLY DID IT! THIS GAME WAS UNREAL!In true 2017 Thorns style, the first […]
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Thorns Rattle Red Stars 3-1
The feeling is mutual! Allie Long and Nadia Nadim show their love for the Riveters. The only thing hotter than the Portland Thorns this week was the Gorge! The Thorns RAZZLED, DAZZLED AND FRAZZLED the Chicago Red Stars on Saturday with a 3-1 win. BOB FOSSE WOULD HAVE BEEN PROUD! This was the last regular […]
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Thorns Shellack Spirit 4-0
Whoever was in charge of blood smoke earned their keep on Saturday. Photo courtesy Portland Thorns FC The Portland Thorns shut the Washington Spirit down 4-0 in a magnificent show of force, accuracy, and stone cold finesse! HAIR FLIPS AND DOUBLE DUTCH SKIPS – ANOTHER WIN! Over 19,000 sweaty, sunburnt and committed fans gathered midday […]
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Thorns Shatter Seattle Reign 2-1
The Riveters were in full force in Seattle! Photo courtesy Portland Thorns FC For the first time since 2013, the Portland Thorns defeated the Seattle Reign 2-1 in Seattle. BACK FLIPS AND OVEN MITTS! There’s something so delicious about Portland beating Seattle in their lackluster, less than impressive, cement structure they call home (Memorial Stadium) […]
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Thorns Devour Houston Dash, 2-0
Another home win for the Portland Thorns. Photo courtesy Portland Thorns FC The Thorns shut down the Houston Dash 2-0 Saturday in front of a whopping 19,672 fans at Providence Park. INVERTED SCISSOR KICKS AND ROUNDOFF BACKFLIPS! The stadium was absolutely electrified during the match. Thorns fans weren’t just into it, they were full blown […]
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The Thorns’ Path of Totality Continues This Weekend!
Unstoppable and always hungry for more front-line action. Photo courtesy Portland Thorns FC Hey there! Did you miss me? No? Well, I missed you, but I have not missed a bit of soccer! The Thorns have been working their way up to that number-two spot in the NWSL standings. POP A WHEELIE AND RIDE THE […]
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Portland Thorns Dupe Houston Dash, 2-1!
The Riveters present Tyler Lussi with her commemorative goal-scoring rose. Photo courtesy Portland Thorns FC Everything’s coming up roses! The Portland Thorns cinched another win on Saturday when they crushed the Houston Dash 2-1. RECKLESS WINDMILLS IN SMALL PUBLIC SPACES! TOO HOT TO HANDLEThe game was originally scheduled for 12:30 pm, but due to the […]
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Thorns Flex and the Courage Fall 1-0
Too hot to wear a scarf? Just hold it above your head! ROSE CITY RIVETERS REPRESENT! Photo courtesy Portland Thorns FC In stone-cold stunning fashion, the Portland Thorns defeated the North Carolina Courage 1-0 on Saturday at Providence Park. KARATE KICK BALL CHANGE!Over 16 thousand fans came out to watch the Thorns POP, BLOCK, ROCK, […]
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Thorns Defeat FC Kansas City 3-1
Red Rover, Red Rover send more Wins on over! Photo Courtesy Portland Thorns FC FCKC = DUST IN THE WINDIt was one hell of a happy hump day at Providence Park when the Thorns beat the Kansas City 3-0 on Wednesday night. Fans were literally tap dancing their way out of the stadium after Portland […]