This weekend’s crucifixion parade is a cross Portland will have to bear.
Posted inGeneral
Cross Me, Will Ya?!
This Weekend’s Crucifixion Parade: A Cross Portland Will Have to Bear
John Dooley
Posted inArt
Mike Stengl
Mike Stengl Embellishments Studio, 5018 NE 22nd Avenue, July 29 – August 23 Mike Stengl paints women. Luckily, a lot of people like women. His Mexican landscapes kick ass, too, but I’m just saying. Stengl’s women are strong. His works, imaginatively dark, are not dastardly. Temperamental color schemes careen through the faces and bodies of […]
Posted inNews
How to get a head in robotics
Local Android Takes First Step Towards Enslaving Mankind
The head of a maniacal-looking silver humanoid sits atop a black, wheeled box in the garage of a SW Portland condo. Chemical-red eyes glaring straight through me, the thing opens its mouth and chutters. “Hello. My name is Maxwell.” I forgive Maxwell for not recognizing me. Apparently he’s forgotten that we’d met last summer at […]
Posted inNews
Big Chief SOB
Grizzlies, Drugs, & Flames: The Life of a Wildfire Crew Boss
Fighting wildfires is a tough business. Surprisingly, Oregon’s private contract companies contribute over 90% of the wild land firefighters in the US, employing more than 6,000 people. Typical contractors farm out 15 to 20 person crews, and record nearly a million miles per year. For every $10 paid to employees, the companies charge the government […]
Posted inIt Sure is a Scientific World
It Sure Is a Scientific World!
Reflectoporn Histrionics
Amateur exhibitionists are using internet auction technology to show off their perky privates to unsuspecting E-Bay browsing consumers in a practice known as Reflectoporn. This mischievous group of Reflectoporn e-flashers are a clandestine bunch, concealing images of their naked forms in the reflections of everyday items up for auction. A nude man reflected in a […]
Posted inIt Sure is a Scientific World
It Sure Is a Scientific World!
Dexter-ity
For science aficionados who conduct home experiments, following the rules is necessary in order to maintain high standards. If procedure standards were not followed, who would give the results a second glance? Therefore proper experimentations depend on the following procedures: To EXPERIMENT, begin with a HYPOTHESIS. Gather your MATERIALS, follow a PROCEDURE, document the RESULTS, […]
Posted inIt Sure is a Scientific World
It Sure is a Scientific World
Cow Pus
My neighbor Dave doesn’t drink milk. He calls it cow pus, and doesn’t hesitate to remind me in mid-chug that I’m sucking on the foul tit of another species. I’m also reminded of a friend in Vermont, Marc, who once ran for some political office there. Marc got major press coverage for openly dissing Ben […]
Posted inIt Sure is a Scientific World
It Sure is a Scientific World
The Franklin Stud Years ago, America’s rotund founding father and patriotic man-slut Benjamin Franklin, is said to have discovered that metal things attract lightning. Back then, lightning was perceived as a sign from God that “He” wasn’t getting enough attention. So, when electrical storms arose, church bell ringers were called upon to do their duty: […]
Posted inNews
Cursing the Stone Bitch
In the early 1980s, I took a commercial fishing job out of Bodega Bay, California. Captain Pete was a local meat cutter in the small coastal town who split his years in two. One part, he worked in his meat market (You Can’t Beat Pete’s Meat), and he fished the rest of the year on […]
Posted inNews
The Mysterious Mystery Thing
Observant Local Man Discovers a… What the Hell IS that Thing Anyway?!
There seems to be a darned good explanation for just about everything on and beyond this big blue bouncing globe of ours. It’s our expectation that qualified specialists are lurking around every corner, waiting to provide definitive clarifications for every mundane or bizarre object and phenomena. We want our mysteries solved and our questions answered, […]
Posted inIt Sure is a Scientific World
It Sure Is a Scientific World!
CigTech
RJ Reynolds is currently marketing a cigarette which reduces second hand smoke by 80%. The cigarette, called Eclipse, comes in menthol and regular like a normal cigarette, but beyond flavors, Eclipse has very little similarity to the original. Eclipse is an enigma, wrapped within a high tech smoking device so unusual, it requires two separate […]
Posted inIt Sure is a Scientific World
It Sure is a Scientific World
Hymen the Mood For Love! The May 2003 issue of Harper’s Magazine offers a sprightly English translation of the instruction manual for “Jade Lady Membrane Man-Made Hymen”–a Chinese hymen repair kit. “For the female sex, the value of the hymen (virgin membrane) cannot be overestimated,” the manual commands. “But the rapid rise in modern women’s […]