You’re out at the bars. You’re drunk. It’s 2 am. The world starts spinning. Suddenly, you’re sitting in front of your blurry computer screen, holding a half eaten sandwich and not wearing pants. The world starts spinning again. Suddenly, you’re waking up to the harsh afternoon sunlight pouring across your haggard face. Illustration courtesy of […]
Kevin "the Intern" Otzenberger
Posted inScience!
Humanity: Doing Stuff for the Hell of It, Since Forever
Yves Rossy became the first man to fly with a jet-powered custom wing suit in 2006, and flew one over the English Channel two years later. On Friday, he became the first man to perform aerobatic stunts with his jet pack, completing two full loops after launching from a hot air balloon in Switzerland. This […]
Posted inGossip
Bush: Things Were Fine Until Kanye Got All Mean
According to former President George W. Bush, the worst moment of his presidency was not when he failed to find WMDs in Iraq, destroyed the economy, cut rich people’s taxes, tortured a bunch of people or let an unqualified crony watch hurricane Katrina devastate New Orleans. It was when Kanye West called him a racist. […]
Posted inScience!
Radioactive Rabbit Found in Wash. Nuclear Site
Blogtownie Todd Mecklem passed on a Tri-City Herald story stating that some time in the last week, a radioactive rabbit was trapped, killed and disposed of at the Hanford Nuclear Reservation near Richland, Wash. Health authorities are now combing the area for its contaminated droppings. The report does not say much beyond explaining the rabbit […]
Posted inPolitics
Second City Picks on Stoners Who Don’t Read Carefully
They also picked on sober people who felt like they should shout into the microphone: a device designed to amplify voice volume. Via The Second City Network. In case you’re also confused, “Keynesian” means that Obama subscribes to the economic philosophy of John Maynard Keynes; the idea that the public sector must sometimes inject aid […]
Posted inSex
The War on Boobs
Some of us love boobs. Probably most of us. But much like how the Tea Party hates providing health care for poor people, there will always be folks who align themselves contrary to popular opinion, just to be dicks. Here are a few stories from this week’s conservative war on mammary freedom.C’mon Barbie, Let’s Go […]
Posted inHorrors
What Wants to Kill Me This Week? Vol. 5
I have good news. People are surviving things. Awful things. Things that should screw them up real bad. But that doesn’t mean you should give the universe any slack, because in reality, we’re not getting any more wily — the universe is just getting tired and lazy in it’s old age. So then, what wants […]
Posted inHealth
Your Tuesday Afternoon Health Advisory
Headlines and viral videos this week taught us a few things we didn’t know about our own health and safety. For instance, did you know you can travel by air absolutely free if you’re willing to simply risk hypothermia and the occasional 5,000 foot free fall? Well, it turns out stowing yourself away inside the […]
Posted inHorrors
What Wants to Kill Me This Week? Vol. 4
I’m pleased to say that things are cooling off. This post actually covers about two weeks of nightmare headlines, which is a great improvement over previous weeks where I could not fit everything into one post. Why are we suddenly safer? Probably because everybody in America is reading this column, and thus have wisely started […]
Posted inElection 2010
A Word from Portland’s Streets
Whether they were supporters or critics of President Barack Obama and gubernatorial candidate John Kitzhaber, Portlanders from both sides of the political table protested outside Wednesday’s voter rally to voice their dissatisfaction and concerns about the government. Some of them dressed up in costumes. Some of them could spell. Some couldn’t. Some of them accused […]
Posted inElection 2010
10 Questions (and Answers) You Might Have About Your Ballot
You just got your Multnomah County Election ballot in the mail, and you’re panicking. “I’m going to fuck this up,” you tell yourself. “I just can’t seem to pull it together.” Photo by Sarah Mirk Well, friend, we’re here to say, “You can do it — we can help.” Here’s 10 questions you might have […]
Posted inNews
The Gloves Are So Off
One lawyer who’s tired of all that stupid talking It looks like old school knuckle-justice is catching on again in today’s most professional positions. The president of Ecuador is getting into shoving matches/gun battles with his own police force, the president of Bolivia is kicking his political opponents in the nuts, and one Portland lawyer […]